Your guide to the weekend -- SIOC style.

Lecture of the Week: "Body Talk: Soviet and Russian Tattoos," University of West Virginia, 4 p.m.

Since the importance of extracurricular academics cannot be underestimated, I've decided to introduce a new item to the Weekend Primer -- the Lecture of the Week. This week's lecture examines body art in Russia and discusses the meaning of various Soviet tattoos. Will Anna Kournikova's lower back tattoo be part of the discussion? The only way to find out is to be there.

THON, Penn State, 6 p.m.

In 1973 Penn State students invented the dance marathon as a way to raise money to fight children's cancer. The inaugural THON brought in $2,136. Last year, on its 35th anniversary, it raised over $5 million. In the words of Ron Burgundy, THON "is a pretty big deal." State College residents, it's time to put on your dancing shoes.

Jerry Seinfeld at the University of Florida, 7:00 & 9:30 p.m.

What's the deal with Les Miles' baseball cap? Ok, so maybe Seinfeld won't bring that up when he comes to Gainesville, but a seat at this show is still one of the hottest tickets in town. Meanwhile, 500 miles up I-95 Will Ferrell brings his "Funny or Die" comedy tour to UNC. I recommend the "funny."

Women's Tennis, Georgia Tech vs. Georgia, 1 p.m.

Hard court supremacy in the state of Georgia is up for grabs as No. 4 Georgia pay a visit to No. 1 Georgia Tech. If not for the Yellow Jackets win over the Bulldogs two weeks ago, Georgia would likely be at the top of the polls right now.

Bob Sapp vs. Jan "The Giant" Nortje, Tacoma Dome, 8 p.m.

A former star lineman at the University of Washington, Sapp returns to Tacoma a burgeoning MMA star. I recommend UW students not pass up this opportunity to see two of the great physical specimens of our time. Sapp (who might be the most intimidating person ever) stands 6-foot-5 and weighs 350 pounds. Nortje is 6-11, 330 pounds. I hope the ring is sturdy.

Late Night with IM Sports, University of Louisville, 8 p.m.

Think you're the next Dwight Howard? Louisville's 17th annual "Late Night" event features a slam dunk contest with a $5,000 grand prize. And don't worry about having to compete with Terrence Williams -- I'm fairly sure that taking $5,000 in dunk money is some kind of NCAA violation. For those who identify more with Jason Kapono, a three-point shooting contest is also part of the night's many festivities.

Men's Basketball, Memphis vs. Tennessee, 9 p.m.

There's only one question: What will Bruce Pearl wear?

Men's Baseball, UCLA vs. Oklahoma, 1 p.m.

Kids won't be playing hooky from school like they do on Major League Baseball's opening day, but the opening weekend of college baseball still deserves mention. One of the big questions heading into the season is what to make of this UCLA team. They're ranked No. 1 in the Baseball America poll, but only 17th in the USA Today poll. Keep an eye on UCLA shortstop and future first-round pick Brandon Crawford.

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