A grand time to be a fan
By now you've surely gotten a snootful of that
No, it's not rolling out
Not to be outdone, the Grand Prairie AirHogs of the independent American Association are planning
This just in:
Seems to this space that in lieu of a t-shirt, the West Michigan Whitecaps should be awarding a free quadruple bypass to anyone who actually manages to eat that there
In the words of those characters in the old Guinness commercial, "Brilliant!" And so Getting Loose wishes to be the first to urge Commissioner
League minimum ($310,000 to $860,000): No penalty
$860k to $5 million (
$5 million to $10 million (
$10 million to $20 million (
So much as breathing on
This space also urges NHL and NBA owners to protect their investments with Mr. Tracy's penalty-per-paycheck plan. MLB can attach pitch limits to salary, and anyone who runs into an ultra-pricey superstar like
In one final note on the topic of bubblewrapping the modern athlete, this AP story on March 29 just feels like a sign of the times:
He played three innings in the field, and the team said Jeter is fine.
"He has a slight bruise on his knuckle," Girardi said after the Yankees' 6-4 win over the Braves. "I didn't take him out because he was hurt. I just planned not to play him too much after a night game (Friday)."
From time to time, one hears of Olympic sports in peril due to lack of interest. Well,
On the other hand,
This space does its level best to stay abreast of Cutler-edge developments in Colorado, and according to an old wildcatter we encountered on his way down from prospectin' up on Pike's Peak, the Broncos were so darned fed up with the disgruntled quarterback's ongoing snit, refusal to respond to phone calls and text messages, and
"They're working out a deal with Avangard Omsk of the Kontinental Hockey League," said our source, who claims to have been in a local watering hole the other night where he overheard Broncos owner
This space hopes Cutler likes brats, as it appears he's been dealt to Chicago instead. But from what this space understands, Chicago is not a whole lot different from Omsk, at least weather-wise.
As always, you read it here first, and last.
Ever wonder where your thoughts go after you're done with them? If you happened to deposit said thoughts into the handy space-time portal on your right, they were magically transported to our clean, modern boiler room facility in Akron, where a battery of chain-smoking spivs sort through them. The finest are hand-picked, cleansed in pure Cuyahoga River water, garnished with parsley and rolled out in future installments of Getting Loose.
It's been said that, like sausage, it's best not to watch one of these so-called columns being made, but we think you'd be duly impressed by the attention to detail and olde worlde craftsmanship. Next week: a column done entirely in scrimshaw.