Norman Chad
Sunday July 26th, 2009

Brett Favre will be returning to the NFL this week with the Minnesota Vikings, according to my sources. There is also a chance Favre will not be returning to the NFL this week with the Vikings, according to my sources. In either case, here is an up-to-the-minute timeline of Favre's twist-and-turn life since his original retirement announcement on March 6, 2008:

• Favre tearfully announces his retirement at Green Bay press conference.

• Favre says a possible comeback is all "rumor."

• Favre calls Packers coach Mike McCarthy and tells him he will stay retired.

• Favre sees NBC's Peter King at Starbucks, buys him a grande caffe mocha and tells him he definitely is retiring.

• Favre wants to come to Packers training camp.

• Favre is traded to the New York Jets.

• Favre calls NBC's Peter King during halftime of the Jets-Bills game and tells him he will retire at the end of the third quarter.

• Favre completes season with the Jets, then announces retirement again.

• Favre asks Jets to release him just in case he wants to sign with another team.

• Favre calls NBC's Peter King and tells him he's retiring for at least five days, maybe longer.

• Favre gets arthroscopic surgery on his right shoulder while looking at carpet swatches for his pool room.

• Favre walks into CVS and buys Ben Gay.

• Scrambling for a parking spot at Home Depot, Favre throws his car up for grabs.

• ESPN's Ed Werder reports Favre was rubbing his right arm while dining at Applebee's in Clinton, Miss.

• Favre walks onto the set of "SportsCenter" and tells Neil Everett he can retire again that evening if they are having a slow news day.

• ESPN's John Clayton reports Favre has six fingers on his right (throwing) hand and five fingers on his left (non-throwing) hand.

• ESPN's Ed Werder reports Favre has five fingers on his right (throwing) hand and six fingers on his left (non-throwing) hand.

• Favre goes on HBO's "Joe Buck Live" and shows he has five fingers on each hand, but says he hasn't thrown a football in four months.

• ESPN's John Clayton reports that Ed Werder was on the phone with Sal Paolantonio while he was leaving a voice mail for Favre.

• ESPN's Chris Mortensen confirms Charles Lindbergh's baby has been kidnapped. Favre, house-hunting in Eden Prairie, runs into one of his errant passes from December '03 Packers-at-Vikings game.

• Brett Favre's Steakhouse in Green Bay changes its menu for the third time in 16 months.

• Favre switches from DirecTV to Dish TV.

• Favre, casting out for walleye in Little Sioux, Iowa, overthrows lake.

• Favre calls John Madden and tries to talk him out of retirement.

• Fox's Jay Glazer reports Favre is lifting weights that Glazer gave him.

• NBC's Peter King spills coffee on his notes from his most recent phone conversation with Favre.

• Favre tells a close friend he doesn't think he wants to wear pants any more.

• Favre walks away from Wrangler, begins discreet talks with Dockers.

• At monthly Retirees Anonymous meeting, Favre aggravates arm injury exchanging playful punches with Sugar Ray Leonard.

• ESPN reports Favre is talking to the Dalai Lama about a consulting position.

• Favre practices Hamlet's Act Three, Scene 1 soliloquy.

• Favre calls Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, asks operator if players can be inducted while still active.

• Favre fills out application for Greenpeace.

• Favre cancels life insurance, gambling he might live forever.

• Favre and wife Deanna discuss renewing vows, but he puts its off until shoulder is fully healed.

• Vikings officials watch Favre throw for 15 minutes at local high school.

• Vikings officials watch Favre parallel park for five minutes at local barbershop.

• Vikings officials watch Favre throw off the media for 45 minutes.

• Favre spurns Vikings, signs deal to split time between L.A. Galaxy and AC Milan.

Q. In less than a month, Quentin Richardson has been with four NBA teams (Knicks, Grizzlies, Clippers, Timberwolves). Shouldn't he think about another line of work? (Marc Samuels; Houston)

A. Yes.

Q. If Michael Vick is really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really remorseful, will the NFL let him play again? (Tom Gregory; Waukesha, Wis.)

A. Yes.

Q. Do the Yankees and Red Sox have a network contract requiring them to play for 4 hours and 21 minutes? (Kirk Cornwell; Albany, N.Y.)

A. Yes.

Q. Will traffic ever get better? (Michael Walsh; Baltimore)

A. No.

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