If ever there was a monument to Texas' clichéd fondness for BIG, it's that planet-sized videoboard hovering 90 feet above the field in the Dallas Cowboys' $1.15 billion new digs. At 60 yards long and 72 feet high, the big ol' box has become an instant attraction for patrons' peepers as well as punters who've discovered they can hit it, thus enshrining the gaudy contraption in the pantheon of such play-disrupting fixtures as the speakers on the ceilings of the Minneapolis Metrodome and Houston Astrodome.
The NFL has promptly removed any tactical advantage in deliberately nailing the board, enacting the rule that play will be blown dead and the clock reset should the ball strike that heavenly object, although much time will be shaved off your lifespan as coaches challenge such rulings. Also scary is the realization that this behemoth weighs in the neighborhood of a million pounds suspended by a steel structure, two pairs of three-inch-thick cables on each end, and tethers to humongous box trusses that span the field.
Nevertheless, one can't help entertaining the dreadful notion (unless one gets one's jollies from such things) of the whole shooting match suddenly coming down and squashing the players like ants. That lovely little sky-is-falling scenario
Besides looming as a spiffy conversation piece -- reader
We sure live in a revealing age. As ESPN tightens trousers across the land
This space has taken heat from Islanders partisans for lamenting the shabby circus the once-proud NHL Dynasty became during the past 15 years or so under reigns of error orchestrated by Mad
The bizarre bungling market is now a crowded place. Tampa Bay Lightning owners
From Cash4Gold, the good people who would love to melt down the Stanley Cup, the PGA Championship's Wanamaker Trophy, and any other precious metals they can get their twitching fingers on, comes this incredible offer:
We'll save you time and eyeleather by assuming this fortunate fan will get the lowdown on designing cutting-edge MMA handbags, tops and dresses with the latest blood-resistant wash-and-wear fabrics. Famous designers will surely be on hand for bare-knuckled runway bouts at the conclusion, with our lucky camper moving on to a winner-take-all ruffled cardigan/zip twill leggings match with
The space has been keeping its bloodshot eyes on the contentious healthcare reform debate, but must admit it's a tad difficult to discern the truth in all the shouting. One presumably reliable source -- a local horse doctor with intimate knowledge of billing procedures -- insists you need look no further than the Flushing, NY for insidious evidence of what will happen to us all should ObamaCare pass. "ACORN death squads are already unplugging the Mets," claims our wild-eyed source. "Just this week they unplugged
When this space expressed doubt that such a hideous fate could befall two wealthy individuals such as Senors Santana and Perez, our source shrieked, "When was the last time you saw
And so we have once again arrived at the Gates of Opprobrium, where you get your chance to unload your crates of vitriol, carts of criticism, boxes of bons mots, and special offers of orchard-fresh peaches and exotic nectarines. We here at Getting Loose welcome them all and you can get in on the fun by depositing your nosegays in the handy box on your right (our left) and clicking SEND. (Soliloquys and stemwinders are fine, too. A mix is healthy, as too much of anything isn't good unless you're the Cowboys, right?)
Our factory-trained technician reads everything that comes in, sprinkles them with holy water and makes every effort to reply without malice aforethought. So in the paraphrased words of