National Signing Day has arrived, and the top prospects who did not make use of the December signing period now have a decision to make. For fans of teams in championship contention, each recruiting cycle presents the possibility that one of the incoming blue-chip prospects will someday make the play that seals a national title. For everyone else, the first Wednesday in February offers an initial opportunity to commit to memory the unique names that may someday resurface in the biggest moment of the season. As Tua Tagovailoa proved in Atlanta a month ago, sometimes those two interests ultimately converge.
With thousands of new additions to college football rosters every year, it’s not surprising to find a steady stream of one-of-a-kind names worthy of our appreciation. So while everyone is congratulating the Georgias and Ohio States of the world on reeling in star-studded talent hauls, we’re celebrating the Kobe Buffalomeats, Lil’Jordan Humphreys and Munchie Legeauxs of the world (and their parents) for adding some memorable creativity to the sport’s central characters. We scanned 3,768 prospects and separated the (Tyrus) Wheat from the chaff to bring you this year’s best in the 2018 All-Name Team.
Author’s Note: To avoid any confusion, this post comes from a place of admiration and respect, not ridicule. As you may have guessed, the author’s own surname has long been the subject of casual observers’ fascination, so he sympathizes all too well with the positives and negatives of having a memorable one.
Kobe Buffalomeat All-Stars
Action Movie Heroes Division
Action Movie Villains Division
National Signing Day Division
Connor Pay [Only joking, of course!]
Penguin Classics Division
Alternate Universe Home Run Derby Champion Division
Yoknapatawpha County Residents Division
Eight-Time State Champion High School Wrestling Coach Division
Wonders of Nature Division
Too Beautiful to Categorize Division
Tennessee Pututau [Not a Tennessee target]
Drake Centers (Position: offensive guard)