David Attenborough Narrates Curling Like a Nature Documentary
You can thank the wonderful people at BBC Radio 1 for getting Sir David Attenborough, whose voice you probably recognize from the BBC's Planet Earth, to narrate Olympic curling in the style of a nature documentary.
Attenborough describes the process by which "the alpha female ... gently but flamboyantly launch[es] the oversize walnut down the frozen river." The rest is something you should watch for yourself.
Keep your eye out for my petition to have David Attenborough narrate every sport.