Modern Hero Runs Sub-Five Minute Mile While Chugging Four Beers

Monday April 28th, 2014

James Nielsen is a man with a dream. And that dream is pretty stupid but still kind of awesome.

In the video above, Nielsen attempts to become the first person to break the five-minute barrier in the "Beer Mile." For the uninitiated, a "Beer Mile" is when a runner sprints a mile around a track while stopping every quarter mile to chug a beer. It is the perfect intersection of fitness and laziness and I can't imagine that this video won't prompt thousands of believers to give this sport a try (and promptly vomit everywhere shortly thereafter).

Nielsen, a Canadian living in California, apparently does accomplish his goal (although I can't confirm the veracity of the video), with some pretty impressive splits.

Screen Shot 2014-04-28 at 4.58.38 PM

That 9 second chug time on the fourth beer shows the type of endurance that could land Nielsen a bid at any fraternity in the world.

Soccer Player Adam Clayton Dyes Beard for Charity

According to Canadian Running magazine, the previous record in the Beer Mile was set by another Canadian named Jim Finlayson, who ran it in 5 minutes and 7 seconds.

Will America stand by idly as Canadians dominate this rising sport? Did the Founding Fathers intend for us to just yield while our neighbors to the north displayed their superiority? Are you the hero/beer chugger this country has been waiting for?

Now more than ever America needs a Beer Mile world champion.

Please take caution: You should only attempt the Beer Mile if you are over the age of 21 and are awesome.

Follow Extra Mustard and Dan Treadway on Twitter. [SB Nation]

SI Apps
We've Got Apps Too
Get expert analysis, unrivaled access, and the award-winning storytelling only SI can provide - from Peter King, Tom Verducci, Lee Jenkins, Seth Davis, and more - delivered straight to you, along with up-to-the-minute news and live scores.