Last night Cheese Chester, a racing pierogie mascot for the Pittsburgh Pirates, suffered an injury in the line of duty:
While Chester recovers, we've rounded up this list:
We'll start with the man (dumpling) who inspired this list. After the fall, the announcer sums it up when he says, "Looks like he's in tremendous pain."
At the 30 second mark in this video, the Mariner Moose was doing something that seems pretty safe -- rollerblading behind an ATV -- when he lost control and slammed into a wall, breaking his ankle.
Wild Wing fails to jump over this wall of fire and extinguishes the flame, but honestly those suits are made out of so much polyester it shouldn't be a surprise that Wild Wing is fire-retardant.
This video is a twofer: first, Bango takes a basketball to the groin, and second, he falls through the basketball hoop and tears his ACL. It's worth noting that basketball hoops are not that big. Bango is one skinny buck.
This bear had one job: carry track champ Melaine Walker around in an adorable victory lap. But he wasn't watching where he was going and he just kind of... ran into some hurdles? Get it together, bear.
They dangled this poor guy above the court for who knows how long, where (presumably) a combination of overheating and fear made him pass out, and then they lowered his lifeless, unconscious body to the ground. It's the funniest thing I've ever seen.
Whoever decided to put The Raptor on roller blades is a genius. An evil genius.