No, he didn’t exactly get busted for doping. 

By Dan Gartland
January 08, 2019

No, this old guy didn’t really get busted for doping

A 90-year-old cyclist was stripped of his world record after failing a drug test for steroids, but it’s not exactly another instance of cycling being the world’s dirtiest sport.

Carl Grove, of Bristol, Indiana, won the 2-km individual pursuit sprint at the Masters National Championship in July with a time blazing time of 3:06.129, good enough not only to win the 90–94 age group but also set a world record. He was only roughly seven seconds slower than the guy who won the 75–79 age group.   

But the record was wiped out after Grove failed a drug test for epitrenbolone, a metabolite of trenbolone, an anabolic steroid. (UPDATE: Grove was only tested in the first place because he set a record.)

Grove wasn’t trying to cheat, though. USADA says it’s “more likely than not” that the positive test was caused by some contaminated meat grove ate for dinner the night before the race. The sample that produced the positive test was collected after Grove’s race on July 11. He had previously produced a clean sample on July 10, so whatever caused Grove to get popped had been consumed between then. 

Consumption of contaminated meat is a pretty common excuse for athletes who get caught doping, but I’m inclined to believe Grove. 

Grove won’t face serious repercussions, luckily. He has only been issued a public warning. As for the world record, I guess he’ll have to go out and break it again this year. 

Now Alabama knows how it feels

Clemson didn’t just win the national championship over Alabama, the Tigers whooped the Tide in a 44–16 blowout to win their second title in four years. It was a rare instance of Nick Saban looking like he got out-coached, especially in the case of this horrible fake field goal. 

Clemson got outstanding performances from everyone on the field. The defensive line was unstoppable, 19-year-old true freshman Trevor Lawrence looked like he’d be a first-round pick in this year’s NFL draft if he wasn’t required to play two more seasons in college and the same goes for true freshman receiver Justyn Ross, who made both of these stunning catches on a single drive.

And the Tigers had so much more fun celebrating their win than Bama would have. Dabo Swinney’s postgame interview was a sight to behold and standout Clemson defensive end Clelin Ferrel made a recruiting pitch on the podium inspired by Suge Knight at the 1995 Source Awards

The best of SI

Fans of everyone but Clemson will want to go ahead and start looking forward to next season. ... What’s the best play for the Lakers if they want to acquire Anthony Davis? ... MLB teams have found a new way to make contracts less advantageous for players

Around the sports world

A Chicago brewery is offering a year of free beer to anyone who can show up to the taproom and kick a 43-yard field goal. ... Trevor Bauer continues to be one of the biggest jerks in sports. ... A female UFC fighter was the victim of an attempted mugging and beat up the assailant until he told her to call the police

Those were simpler times

Jorge Soler’s golf bag got a major upgrade

Turned Jorge Soler’s broken baseball bat into a putter for him. It’s gone from poking dingers to plinking birdies. from r/golf

What a unique Shoeless Joe autograph

Bail Bond signed by Joe Jackson from r/baseball

The official record has been changed but history will remember this one way

Someone had a lot of fun at work yesterday

This is all you need to know about the halftime show

He might be a little over-qualified for this

Last I heard, Dantley was working as a school crossing guard just so he didn’t have to pay for health insurance (even though he has plenty of money). 

Not sports

A San Antonio woman found an entire fake fingernail in her taco. ... Pauly Shore is now doing shows at motels in Evansville, Indiana. ... A Nebraska man was arrested for DUI after cops stopped him for driving “like Ace Ventura” with his head poking out of the window

I also had a roommate who would do this exact thing

Rare snowfall makes the Grand Canyon look magical

Multitasking, 18th century style

I hate that this exists

The woman caught dipping chicken fingers in soda at the U.S. Open is trying her hardest to keep her viral fame going by releasing this alarmingly sexual music video. 

The kids version of the Game of Thrones credits

A good song

Email dan.gartland@simail.com with any feedback or follow me on Twitter for approximately one half-decent baseball joke per week. Bookmark this page to see previous editions of Hot Clicks and find the newest edition every day. By popular request I’ve made a Spotify playlist of the music featured here. Visit our Extra Mustard page throughout each day for more offbeat sports stories.

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OUT
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IN
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Double Bogey (+2)