Tuesday’s Hot Clicks: 90-Year-Old American Cyclist Stripped of World Record After Failing Steroid Test

No, this old guy didn’t really get busted for doping
Track cyclist Carl Grove – aged 90 – fails doping test at US Masters Track National Championships #steroids https://t.co/tVVwRVdeD9 pic.twitter.com/qy6aeQkgT1
— 𝘿𝙧 𝘽𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙨 𝙂𝙤𝙟𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙫𝙞𝙘 (@DrSportSante) January 7, 2019
A 90-year-old cyclist was stripped of his world record after failing a drug test for steroids, but it’s not exactly another instance of cycling being the world’s dirtiest sport.
Carl Grove, of Bristol, Indiana, won the 2-km individual pursuit sprint at the Masters National Championship in July with a time blazing time of 3:06.129, good enough not only to win the 90–94 age group but also set a world record. He was only roughly seven seconds slower than the guy who won the 75–79 age group.
But the record was wiped out after Grove failed a drug test for epitrenbolone, a metabolite of trenbolone, an anabolic steroid. (UPDATE: Grove was only tested in the first place because he set a record.)
Grove wasn’t trying to cheat, though. USADA says it’s “more likely than not” that the positive test was caused by some contaminated meat grove ate for dinner the night before the race. The sample that produced the positive test was collected after Grove’s race on July 11. He had previously produced a clean sample on July 10, so whatever caused Grove to get popped had been consumed between then.
Consumption of contaminated meat is a pretty common excuse for athletes who get caught doping, but I’m inclined to believe Grove.
Grove won’t face serious repercussions, luckily. He has only been issued a public warning. As for the world record, I guess he’ll have to go out and break it again this year.
Now Alabama knows how it feels
Someone get this man a shirt with a Tiger Paw quick pic.twitter.com/VDx2dD7Iv4
— Clemson Football (@ClemsonFB) January 8, 2019
Clemson didn’t just win the national championship over Alabama, the Tigers whooped the Tide in a 44–16 blowout to win their second title in four years. It was a rare instance of Nick Saban looking like he got out-coached, especially in the case of this horrible fake field goal.
It's a fake! And Clemson is ALL over it. pic.twitter.com/uSndTijvUu
— ESPN (@espn) January 8, 2019
Clemson got outstanding performances from everyone on the field. The defensive line was unstoppable, 19-year-old true freshman Trevor Lawrence looked like he’d be a first-round pick in this year’s NFL draft if he wasn’t required to play two more seasons in college and the same goes for true freshman receiver Justyn Ross, who made both of these stunning catches on a single drive.
How did he catch that 😳 pic.twitter.com/FbscOk0BFb
— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) January 8, 2019
Justyn Ross. Are you kidding me. pic.twitter.com/wWWll1huJ9
— Max Olson (@max_olson) January 8, 2019
And the Tigers had so much more fun celebrating their win than Bama would have. Dabo Swinney’s postgame interview was a sight to behold and standout Clemson defensive end Clelin Ferrel made a recruiting pitch on the podium inspired by Suge Knight at the 1995 Source Awards.
The best of SI
Fans of everyone but Clemson will want to go ahead and start looking forward to next season. ... What’s the best play for the Lakers if they want to acquire Anthony Davis? ... MLB teams have found a new way to make contracts less advantageous for players.
Around the sports world
A Chicago brewery is offering a year of free beer to anyone who can show up to the taproom and kick a 43-yard field goal. ... Trevor Bauer continues to be one of the biggest jerks in sports. ... A female UFC fighter was the victim of an attempted mugging and beat up the assailant until he told her to call the police.
Those were simpler times
Jorge Soler’s golf bag got a major upgrade
Turned Jorge Soler’s broken baseball bat into a putter for him. It’s gone from poking dingers to plinking birdies. from r/golf
What a unique Shoeless Joe autograph
The official record has been changed but history will remember this one way
The NFL has officially changed Cody Parkey's missed field goal yesterday to a blocked kick by Treyvon Hester.
— Tom Pelissero (@TomPelissero) January 7, 2019
Someone had a lot of fun at work yesterday
The double-doink in bright lights high above the city of Philadelphia.
— NBC Sports Philadelphia (@NBCSPhilly) January 8, 2019
That's right, the PECO Building is showing an animation of the famous blocked kick. pic.twitter.com/UiicTFvhYA
This is all you need to know about the halftime show
interesting fit for Lil Wayne at the #NationalChampionship pic.twitter.com/x69IIdQRzQ
— Complex Music (@ComplexMusic) January 8, 2019
— Rohan Nadkarni (@RohanNadkarni) January 8, 2019
He might be a little over-qualified for this
Adrian Dantley, NBA legend, is a referee in my son’s 5th grade rec league game. pic.twitter.com/KpCAgb7kJ6
— Del Quentin Wilber (@DelWilber) January 6, 2019
Last I heard, Dantley was working as a school crossing guard just so he didn’t have to pay for health insurance (even though he has plenty of money).
Not sports
A San Antonio woman found an entire fake fingernail in her taco. ... Pauly Shore is now doing shows at motels in Evansville, Indiana. ... A Nebraska man was arrested for DUI after cops stopped him for driving “like Ace Ventura” with his head poking out of the window.
I also had a roommate who would do this exact thing
Y’all wanna get upset by the lack of seasoning on my boyfriends roommates chicken with me pic.twitter.com/R72oHmAf3G
— Esmarelda Fitzmonster (@corihealey) January 8, 2019
Rare snowfall makes the Grand Canyon look magical
Multitasking, 18th century style
I hate that this exists
The woman caught dipping chicken fingers in soda at the U.S. Open is trying her hardest to keep her viral fame going by releasing this alarmingly sexual music video.
The kids version of the Game of Thrones credits
A good song
Email dan.gartland@simail.com with any feedback or follow me on Twitter for approximately one half-decent baseball joke per week. Bookmark this page to see previous editions of Hot Clicks and find the newest edition every day. By popular request I’ve made a Spotify playlist of the music featured here. Visit our Extra Mustard page throughout each day for more offbeat sports stories.