Westminster Dog Show Crowns Siba the Standard Poodle. Why?

Siba the Standard Poodle won the Westminster Dog Show but are poodles actually attractive dogs and worthy best in show winners?

Siba, a standard poodle, was crowned best in show on Tuesday at the 144th Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. As the fifth-ever standard poodle breed (and the first since 1991) to be crowned champion, I offer my congratulations the victory for, Siba. But I do have one question for the Westminster Kennel Club judges and everyone else out there: Who finds poodles so attractive? Because I sure don’t.

As I see it, a standard poodle resembles a large rat with a perm. Why do the owners shave the poor dogs naked in some spots, but give them little furry booties in others? If a human wore the equivalent, the get-up would be mocked and it certainly doesn’t look any less ridiculous on a dog.

To be fair: I know absolutely nothing about how the pups are judged at the Westminster Dog Show. And I’m certainly no Fred Willard. In fact, I’m definitely the wrong person to be weighing in at all, as dogs are my biggest phobia. I’m afraid of them. Once I get to know them, I’m OK, but I’m definitely not one of those people who are enamored by puppies when I see them.

Even still, I simply don’t understand why the standard poodle is now one of only four breeds with five or more wins in the competition. What about a nice friendly golden retriever? Or a sleek and strong pitbull? Or how about a cute Morkie, like my dog, Butters? (Yes, I have a dog, but it is more like a hamster.)

                                                            Butters the dog 

This is absolutely nothing personal against Siba, poodles, or poodle owners. But just because I’m afraid of dogs doesn’t mean I’m afraid to say this: the standard poodle should not have won best in show. But that doesn’t mean I’d hesitate to give one a biscuit and a pat on the head. Once I got over my fear, that is.