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We Need to Talk About DK Metcalf’s Bathroom Break

Also in Traina Thoughts: Tony Romo reacts to f-bomb; Ian Eagle pays tribute to Coolio; ‘SNL’ spoofs the ManningCast and more.

1. Early in the fourth quarter of Sunday’s Seahawks-Lions game, Seattle star receiver DK Metcalf was carted to the locker room.

As Metcalf later explained in one of the better tweets you’ll ever see, he didn’t leave the game because he was injured. He just needed to get to the bathroom. ASAP.

Naturally, we need to break this down.

First off, my initial reaction when finding out that Metcalf took the cart because he needed to get to the restroom as quickly as possible was complete bewilderment at the leisurely pace of the cart driver. There was just no sense of urgency. I don’t know whether those carts have a speed limit, but if I were Metcalf, I would’ve been yelling at the dude to floor it.

This was more like a casual, let’s-check-out-the-scenery ride instead of a this-guy-is-about-to-poop-his-pants ride.

I will take the stand that Metcalf would’ve been better off running to the bathroom. Next Gen Stats once clocked Metcalf running 21.31 miles per hour. That cart couldn’t have been going more than five miles per hour.

In Metcalf’s defense, he did say he didn’t ask for the cart. It was offered to him.

One thing I did enjoy about Metcalf’s intestinal battle was that some people on Twitter immediately went into performance mode, because they saw him riding the cart without knowing why he was on it and did the thoughts-and-prayers thing.

Yes, football IS brutal. But so is having to relieve yourself when you’re not near a restroom, so I guess this tweet holds up.

Naturally, people on Twitter had a lot of jokes about Metcalf’s bowel movement. Sports Illustrated won’t let me post the very best ones, but here’s a sampling of some pretty decent reactions.

2. Funny reaction here by CBS’s Tony Romo after microphones picked up a powerful f-bomb from Aaron Rodgers during the Patriots-Packers game.

3. CBS’s Ian Eagle sneaked in during the Bills-Ravens game a nice tribute to Coolio, who passed away last week.

4. The Vikings beat the Saints on Sunday after New Orleans missed a game-tying field at the end of regulation that ended up hitting the goalpost and crossbar. 

The result: Two grown men screaming, “DOUBLE-DOINK” and going crazy during a hilarious scene in Minnesota’s radio booth.

5. Fox’s Terry Bradshaw revealed on Sunday’s pregame show he’s faced a couple of serious medical issues over the past year and that he’s on the mend.

6. I’m sure there are those of you out there who want a straightforward postgame interview when a coach comes off the field. Personally, give me stuff like this instead every day of the week. After Mississippi State beat Texas A&M on Saturday, an SEC Network sideline reporter asked Bulldogs coach Mike Leach about weddings. The result was a rare, memorable postgame interview.

7. The latest SI Media Podcast features a conversation with The Ringer’s Bryan Curtis, who joined me to talk about a truly wild week in sports media.

Topics covered include:

  • Split-screen madness
  • Ime Udoka coverage
  • Brett Favre coverage
  • What Joe Buck and Troy Aikman have done for Monday Night Football
  • The most outlandish take of the week

You can listen to the podcast below or download it on AppleSpotify and Google.

You can also watch the SI Media Podcast on YouTube.

8. RANDOM VIDEO OF THE DAY: Saturday Night Live did a solid job spoofing the ManningCast during this weekend's show.

Be sure to catch up on past editions of Traina Thoughts and check out the Sports Illustrated Media Podcast hosted by Jimmy Traina on AppleSpotify or Google. You can also follow Jimmy on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok.