4 Things to Change About Golf Right Now
What would you do if you were the czar of golf? Let us know at inbox@morningread.com. In the meantime, Mike Purkey has some ideas:
1. Ban long putters and armlocking
Scott McCarron.
Loren Townsley / Argus Leader-SiouxFalls
Now that the ruling bodies have placed a limit on the length of drivers at 46 inches, the next logical step is to do something about putters. When the ban on anchored putting strokes took effect in 2016, any number of people wondered aloud why the armlock method, popularized by Matt Kuchar, wasn’t considered anchoring.
It seemed harmless, especially since Kuchar wasn’t collecting many trophies. But when players win tournaments by irregular means, noise gets made. Tour players become incensed when it looks as if someone is picking their pockets (or taking away their freebies). Billy Horschel started the public outcry — or just whining — about the armlockers and now a number of prominent players are taking up the cause to ban the method, including the likes of Rory McIlroy.
In the spirit of squashing the life out of imagination and ingenuity, limit the length of putters to 36 inches. In addition to armlocking, you’d also get rid of long putters and how many PGA Tour Champions players (and others) whisper that they believe broomstick practitioners Bernhard Langer and Scott McCarron are really anchoring?
So, if you want to armlock a 36-inch flatstick, have at it. But you’ll get a little dizzy from bending over that much and you’ll need a regular appointment with a chiropractor or some other physio to take care of that bad back.
2. Give elite amateurs their own tour
Stewart Hagestad plays the 2018 U.S. Open at Shinnecock Hills.
Brad Penner-USA TODAY Sports
Speaking of ignoring the game’s traditions, it’s high time to create the Elite Amateur Tour. Elite ams come in two sub-species: guys wealthy enough to fund their own travels to big-time events and guys whose parents are wealthy enough to pick up the tab. Talented players with no money rarely compete in anything much outside their backyards.
The Elite Amateur Tour would eliminate such undemocratic divisions between the game’s haves and have-nots. In this circuit, anything goes: reinstated pros, unlimited travel expenses, turning that inconvenient merchandise credit into cash. And the Elites could get in on the Name, Image and Likeness gravy train, like free equipment from manufacturers and endorsement deals. Don’t you want to tune into the U.S. Amateur and see six logos on the front of every player’s shirt?
The time has come to make amateur golf pay off for all those practically full-time ams (Stewart Hagestad, are you listening?). Making a living off golf shouldn’t make you a professional.
Wait, what? Someone’s already thought of this?
3. Get serious about slow play, once and for all
Players wait to tee off.
Cameron Clark, York Daily Record, via Imagn
Since the pandemic began and golf was decreed an essential activity, tee sheets all over the country have been booked from dawn ‘til dusk. Players at daily-fee courses from Maine to Monterey are packed in like six-feet-apart sardines.
Business has never been better and, in fact, the rise in revenues is in semi-direct proportion to the increase in the time it takes to play 18 holes of public golf. Five-hour rounds are part of the new, new normal.
With all this newfound wealth, course operators could use some of that money for spine transplant surgery and pay more than lip service to pace of play. Like have the guts to empower rangers to require slow groups to move up a hole (or two) to catch up with the group in front of them. Or even take the worst culprits off the course and refund their money.
The slow players’ refrain is: "I paid my money; I’ll take as long as I want to play." And operators have long been reticent to alienate customers for fear of losing anyone’s business. But now that nearly every course is full and flush, the snails can either speed up or go somewhere else — if they can get a starting time.
4. Keep Lefty from inserting his foot in his mouth
Phil Mickelson made a pair of 9s last week on the PGA Tour Champions.
Scott Taetsch-USA TODAY Sports
Advances in technology are as much a part of our game as, say, the aforementioned five-hour round. In that spirit, it must be possible — and increasingly necessary — to invent and install a foot-in-mouth restrictor plate on Phil Mickelson’s shoes.
Mickelson is one of the smartest players in the game, yet all that seeming intelligence isn’t enough to prevent him from saying stuff that’s either dumb or stupid. Dumb means you do it when you don’t know better. Stupid means you know better and do it anyway. When he opens his mouth, you be the judge.
In the latest episode of "Lefty Knows Best," the restrictor plate would have come in quite handy at last week’s Dominion Charity Classic on the PGA Tour Champions, the tour where Mickelson had won three of his first four events — before last week.
Lefty was asked at a media scrum before the event something or other about the importance of hitting fairways off the tee after finishing 81st in driving accuracy at the Furyk & Friends two weeks ago, where he won.
“So, I look at longest, like I try to hit it the farthest out here, and I was No. 1 in driving distance," he said. "That’s the way I look at it. If you want to look at stuff that’s irrelevant, have at it. I’m a really good wedge player and if I have a lot of wedges in my hands, I’m awfully hard to beat."
In Saturday’s second round, Mickelson launched two out-of-bounds off the tee at the par-5 9th hole and wound up with quadruple-bogey 9. On Sunday, he made a matching 9 at the 9th and finished the tournament T47, 14 shots behind the winner, 64-year-old Bernhard Langer, who happens to hit a lot of fairways.
Mickelson also said of the PGA Tour Champions, “I'm using it as a chance to be competitive but in an environment that doesn't beat you up.”
Unless kicking yourself counts as being beaten up.