“I have three rules,” Bauer says. “One: no feelings.”
The headline of Ben Reiter’s new profile of Trevor Bauer really says it all: “Trevor Bauer Is More Concerned With Being Right Than Being Liked.” Bauer, the brash, outspoken Indians pitcher, might not care too much about being liked by the opposite sex, either.
While the story is primarily concerned with Bauer’s baseball life, one anecdote offers a fascinating glimpse into his personal life:
When Bauer meets a potential romantic partner, he outlines for her the parameters of any possible relationship on their very first date. “I have three rules,” he says. “One: no feelings. As soon as I sense you’re developing feelings, I’m going to cut it off, because I’m not interested in a relationship and I’m emotionally unavailable. Two: no social media posts about me while we’re together, because private life stays private. Three: I sleep with other people. I’m going to continue to sleep with other people. If you’re not O.K. with that, we won’t sleep together, and that’s perfectly fine. We can just be perfectly polite platonic friends.”
It’s his way of being considerate. “I imagine if I was married at this point, I would be a very bad husband,” he says. He does want a family in the future, when he can be as all in on it as he currently is on his career, maybe in a decade or so.
When most people describe their ideal first date they think dinner and a movie, or a nice drink at a quiet bar. For Bauer it’s laying out a series of policies for a relationship that doesn’t exist yet.
If that’s the way Bauer kicks off a first date, you have to wonder how many second dates there are.