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Week 7 NFL Picks: Mustard Style


As Week 7 of the NFL season approaches there's good news on the injury front. Kevin Everett walked for the first time since his horrific spinal cord injury and Trent Green is optimistic about playing again this year. The only bad news is that Chad Pennington's torn rotator cuff still hasn't healed. Wait ... what's that? Chad Pennington's arm is completely healthy? Well never mind then. Let's just move onto the picks.Tampa Bay at Detroit (-1): Roy Williams' afternoon as a Pizza Hut delivery man was one of the biggest stories in Detroit this week. Not only did the media flood Williams with interview requests, but aspiring delivery boy Charles Rogers kept calling and asking if anybody tipped with bags of weed. Pick: Tampa BayMinnesota at Dallas (-9.5): Vikings coach Brad Childress is adamant that Adrian Peterson is still not the team's starting running back. That's not what Vikings fans want to hear, but at least it makes Chester Taylor's mom happy. Pick: DallasNew England at Miami (+16.5): Will the Patriots run up the score on an 0-6 Dolphins team that's playing with a backup quarterback? Probably. Just as there's no "I" in "team", there's no "sportsmanship" in "breaking every single offensive record." Levi Jones is going to enjoy watching Joey Porter squirm. Pick: New EnglandArizona at Washington (-8.5): Kurt Warner has a torn elbow ligament, but he's been practicing with a brace and hopes to play on Sunday. Warner is counting on his miraculous to prove that he, and not Jon Kitna, is god's chosen quarterback. Pick: WashingtonBaltimore at Buffalo (+3): After two weeks of working on their onside kick recoveries, the Bills are ready to avoid another final minute fiasco. That's the easy part. The hard part? Getting another 4th quarter lead. Pick: BuffaloAtlanta at New Orleans (-9): Any coach would be privileged to have both Byron Leftwich and Joey Harrington as potential starting quarterbacks ... if he were coaching a WAC team in 2001. Meanwhile, in order to keep his team from focusing on their past success, Sean Payton held a mock funeral for last week's win. Pick: AtlantaSan Francisco at New York Giants (-9.5): Did you know that Eli Manning has thrown for more yards and touchdowns than his ring-toting older brother? If Eli keeps this up he might be able to sit at the grown-ups table at this year's Manning family Thanksgiving dinner. Pick: New York GiantsTennessee at Houston (+1): Unhappy with the work of the Texans training staff, Matt Schaub has taken over as the massage therapist for Andre Johnson's injured knee. Pick: HoustonNew York Jets at Cincinnati (-6.5): Eric Mangini finally explained the curious decision to throw the ball from the shotgun on a crucial 4th-and-1 last week. Apparently Mangini was in the bathroom at the time and the pass-happy Frank Caliendo was filling in with a spot-on impersonation. Pick: New York JetsKansas City at Oakland (-1): It's been almost two years since Priest Holmes last played in an NFL game, but the Chiefs' oft-injured running back hopes to play this week. After Thursday's practice Herm Edwards even called Holmes "fresh", once again proving that the Chiefs coach is not a good guy to take fruit shopping. Pick: Kansas CityChicago at Philadelphia (-5.5): Devin Hester's NFL success is no surprise to those who saw him play in college. According to some old-time fans, Hester was the fastest man to play college football since Forrest Gump. Pick: PhiladelphiaSt. Louis at Seattle (-9): The Seahawks will be the next team to take part in the Rams new reality show, Who Wants to Look Like a Pro Bowl Defensive Back. My money is on Kelly Jennings to be the big winner. Pick: St. LouisPittsburgh at Denver (+3.5): Mike Tomlin plans to use a mysterious "blood flow" machine to help his team cope with the Denver altitude. Meanwhile, in order to help strengthen the team's porous run defense Mike Shanahan has brought in a mysterious machine called the "bench press." Pick: PittsburghIndianapolis at Jacksonville (+3): On Tuesday Maurice Jones-Drew was asked to come into the NFL offices so he could film a quick commercial. Suddenly, he was blindfolded, clubbed in the knee, and locked in a closet full of shirts promoting the "Colts-Patriots Undefeated Showdown." But no, the NFL isn't rooting for Jacksonville to lose this game. Pick: JacksonvilleLast Week: 5-6-2Season: 46-34-8Got something to say to Eric? E-mail him at

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