A swelling bag of mail, filled with passer ranking responses. No wasted time. Get right to them.
Too much emphasis is placed on one factor, completion percentage. It affects all four categories. Down the field throwers are not rewarded enough. Every aspect -- completion percentage itself, interceptions, yards and TDs all reflect percentages of passes attempted. OK, I'll give them two of them -- completion percentage and interceptions, but the way to balance it would be to relate two categories to COMPLETIONS, not attempts. In other words, look at how many TDs a guy has, relative to how many passes he completes. That would eliminate pumped up rewards for lots of completed dinks. The same with yards. Give the guy who averages 13 yards a completion a higher grade than one who hits the league average of 11.3. Are you still with me, or are you just going to throw your hands up, as the Elias people do, and say, "The guy's nuts. Stay away from him?" Actually Elias' Lord
The maximum number of 158.3 rating points has been greeted with derision by
"Where do we organize the angry mob and get it changed?" John Warsaw asks. We're mobilizing right now. At the present time the quartermaster is trying to get the entire angry mob fitted with uniforms. Tiny, the 400-pounder sitting over there, is creating problems.
And thanks to you, Simon, for your kind words about my writing.
Happy note from
So effusive in his praise that he reduced me to blushing like a schoolgirl ("HA!" says Rousse Flamboyante)
Now that I've worked myself up to a crescendo of emotion, here comes a pair of gentlemen to douse the flames. My problem is that most of the time when I get all caught up with myself and use a literary reference, I screw it up. Ditto when I rely on my knowledge of military history. A few columns ago I quoted Dr.
And now comes the big one, from my E-mailer of the Week,
I was in no way indicating a level of stupidity here, just the futility of having to use outmoded methods. I read about it somewhere, long ago, and saw it in a movie once: the proud Polish cavalry unit, which went back to medieval days, hurling itself hopelessly at the tanks. It left me feeling profoundly sad. Now your letter has driven me to the research library, and I found out something very interesting. It seems that it never happened. It was a product of Fascist propaganda (and Russian, since the USSR was Hitler's ally in those days) , to show how primitive the Poles were.
I'm quoting, in part, from the most concise description I could find of the incident referred to, provided by Wikipedia, the free encyclopaedia. The Battle of Krojanty, Sept. 1, 1939:
"During the action the Polish cavalry units met a large group of German infantry resting in the woods near Krojanty. Colonel
The charge was successful and the German infantry was routed. More important, the tactic delayed the German advance long enough to allow the safe withdrawal of two Polish battalions from the area. It took the German units several hours to reorganize and push on, this time aided by armored units. According to the memoirs of
On Sept. 2, the 18th Pomeranian Uhlans Regiment, the cavalry unit which had mounted the charge, was decorated by the Polish commander and awarded his own Virtuti Militari medal for valor. On the same day, German war correspondents visited the battlefield, along with two correspondents from Italy. They were shown bodies of Polish cavalrymen who had been slain, along with their horses, also German tanks which had arrived later and were not involved in the battle. One of the Italian correspondents wrote a piece about the bravery of the Polish cavalry, which had charged the German tanks with their sabers and lances. And thus the myth was born. Soviet propaganda kept it going, even after the war, to show the stupidity of Polish commanders.
And now that I hope I've squared my previous gaffe, Mr. Penca, you could do my dear wife a favor. She is dying to know how Mayor's Income, Tenn., got its name.
Well, as long as its open season on yours truly,
I see the word, "Lame," forming on the lips of one who's close to me, and I say, just don't say it, OK? Don't say it. I want some consideration. It was my birthday two days ago.