Campus Quick Slants
Last Sunday, I set my TiVo to record the second half of Clemson's rematch with North Carolina, only to learn that my DVR mistakenly grabbed the entire 2008 Grammy Awards instead. Disappointed, I gave the show a quick scan and was hooked.
I began to wonder if the ridiculous storylines found within the Grammys bested those found within this college basketball season.
So, I did what any responsible human would do ... I spent the next three-and-a-half hours charting the dramatic subplots of the show and comparing them to similar events happening on the hardwood. To my surprise, it was a closer match-up than I'd expected. In my typical "Get off the fence" fashion, here's what I found, with my favorites underlined ...
Knight's abrupt resignation from Texas Tech ruffled many-a-feather on his staunchest critics, but his paradoxical exit is dwarfed by Winehouse's showing at the Grammys. Anyone else find it hysterically ironic that she was forced to perform her song (about resisting rehab) via satellite from London ... because she couldn't sneak out of her current stay in a rehab facility?
There's no evidence to suggestion that Rihanna's maneuver was the result of improper phone calls or even that it was premeditated. But it was high-octane intensity when Rihanna lassoed a reluctant Jay-Z and dragged him to the podium with her after winning for
After blowing teams out of the water, Kansas started to get noticeably flustered against ranked teams -- most recently conference rival Texas. But nothing can top Hancock's snafu after winning the Grammy for Best Album. Visibly shaken on stage, Hancock reached into his breast pocket for some acceptance notes, and unknowingly spilled what looked like some loose leaf music, his tax returns and the Dead Sea Scrolls onto the stage.
Aside of portraying himself as a raging egomaniac, Kanye tried so intently to make a fashion statement that he made a fool of himself in the process. Pitino, on the other hand,
Think the biggest upset of the year was the Wildcats losing to a team that sounds like a law firm? Nuh-uh. Apparently, God had more of a reduced role among this year's winners than ever before. In the most shocking twist of all, the only artist to thank the Heavenly Father in her acceptance speech was Alicia Keys at the very beginning of the ceremony. After that ... nothing. It's unprecedented.
In terms of pure epiphanies, the sheer discovery that Feist was the musician behind
A lot's been made of the way
After a recent stint at the Harrah's New Orleans Casino, I realized that at one point this season, the Illini were making free throws at a clip of 49.5 percent -- only slightly better than your chances of hitting a single color on a roulette wheel (47.4 percent), and WORSE than your odds of winning a coin flip. Think about this for a second. These are scholarship athletes; how is this possible?!? It's like a team of Shaqs minus the dominant low-post game.
Illini fans might be convinced that
Look, basketball officials aren't perfect, and their jobs are probably a whole lot harder than yours unless you're building spaceships or attempting cold fusion. But with that said, the least enviable man in all of sports right now is
To say the least, Hyland's defense of Donato's call is as flimsy as Juno's best picture nomination at the Oscars. Justifying this mistake by saying "
1. Better awards show?
2. Better tournament team? Texas /
3. Better 80s invention? My Pet Monster /
4. Better bubble team?
5. Hotter actress?
6. More valuable player?
7. More effective pill?
8. More outdated rankings?
9. More underrated instrument? Flute /
10. Better Jay Bilas adjective? "Ball-friendly" /
It's been a while since we dug into the mailbag ...
Excellent point. In my opinion, there is only a select group of people who should be allowed to pass their jobs down like family heirlooms: business owners and mafia kingpins. That's it -- under no other circumstance does being one's offspring qualify you for a job. Everyone else should be required to earn his stripes independent of his namesake.