OK, I've learned to accept it that the Dodgers left Brooklyn and the Colts left Baltimore and NASCAR left Rockingham. And I even finally bore up to the reality that
Well, not all bowling -- the headquarters of the United States Bowling Congress, the heart and soul, ye, the shirt and shoes of American bowling, located in Milwaukee for more than a century, is threatening to pick up and move to Texas.
That benighted decision by the bowling poobahs is scheduled to be made by March 14. Say it aint so. As an erstwhile pin boy, I plead with the USBC to keep its sport in the city bowling made famous. After all, as Crackerjack goes with baseball, as tailgating with football, so have bowling and beer and Milwaukee always gone together.
In fact, do you know how the old German-Americans used to play the game? Three teams would compete against each other. Have you ever heard of any sport where there are three teams? Everywhere else it's two. But here's the way it worked with bowling: two of the three teams would bowl against each other, while the third team went to the bar and drank beer. Then they'd rotate. Golf may have it's nineteenth hole at the end of a round, but bowling had a moveable nineteenth hole.
No wonder bowling prospered long into this century. Why, in winter time, its big heroes, like
It's funny, isn't it? In most sports, the finest compliment you can pay an athlete is to call him a "blue-collar kinda guy." But the whole sport of bowling took it on the chin because it was considered too blue-collar.
Bowling tried to upgrade its image. Suddenly, you were supposed to call alleys "lanes" and gutters "channels." Please. You are what you are. You might as well try and have baseball start calling dugouts "patios."
And wouldn't you know it: what president put alleys in the White House? Right --
And now they might move bowling central from Milwaukee to Texas? Hey, you might as well make Oshkosh the rodeo capital of America and transport the Alamo to Sheboygan. Bowlers of the world, unite. Have another brewski and keep bowling where God meant it to be.