Florida Congresswoman Corrine Brown's Florida Gator Robe
Everyone's been there -- you're getting ready to speak in front of the House to butcher both the English language and the names of superstar student-athletes from a school in your district ... but you haven't a thing to wear!! Calm down, this orange and blue silk robe with an understated cartoon alligator will wow them all. I'm just hoping that if Tim Tebow can win another title in 2009-10, we can get a Florida Snuggie and a congratulatory shout-out to Tom Taybon. A boy can dream.
As we get closer to actual or "real" baseball, let's be reminded that there's nothing more "real" than waking up early to scour fake waiver wires, proposing ludicrous trades in hopes that one will stick, or becoming emotionally attached to the possibility that a set-up guy might become a closer in the near future. Throw in mildly-offensive team names, friendships in limbo over shady trades, and an unnecessarily-gaudy winner's trophy, and you've got something that clearly rivals following a "real" team.
Nothing makes you feel older faster in sports than watching basketball and thinking to yourself, "Wait, why wasn't I allowed to do that in leagues when I was 11?" I'm convinced that half of the Syracuse team wouldn't be able to consistently maintain possession of the ball if the NCAA outsourced referee hires to the Woodland Hills Park Junior League. Check the tape.
People seem to be rather comfortable with hyperbole now, and since "most dominant" is one of those phrases being tossed around all the time in sports now, I'll bite. Looking forward, there's no reason to believe that Rafa won't obliterate everyone placed in front of him and his man-capris for the foreseeable future (on any surface). He's only 22, but it's ok, keep talking about LeBron, Brady, and Tiger -- if you repeat it enough, it must be true.
CollegeHumor Sports Videos
Between the fake Yankee Stadium proposal, the rigged Maryland half-court shot contest and the NCAA bracket videos from the Jake and Amir series (last year's and this year's), the site's sports videos have been surprisingly great. And who knew that there's a West Virginia?
The University of Tennessee
Lane Kiffin doesn't care if the context is good or bad, he's just happy that people are once again talking about the school and their orange "T," so I'll keep that conversation going. Travis Henry, Donte Stallworth, Albert Haynesworth, Jamal Lewis, and Leonard Little are all representatives of Lane's school in the NFL. This week, Bryce Brown chose Tennessee after they started recruiting him about ten minutes ago. Hmm, he said he got a sign from above. Clearly, the above thoughts are not the bitter ramblings of a spurned Oregon Duck football fan. Clearly.
Granted, the fact that President Obama filled out a bracket and explained his picks is unquestionably cool, but if you're at all interested in the bracket of anybody less famous than the president (that isn't in the world of sports), you should probably have all NCAA pool privileges revoked. Where does it all end? "Hm, I really liked North Carolina here, but Anderson Cooper and Regis both love the Zags, so let's do that!" Balderdash.
Everyone That Plays the UConn's Women's Basketball Team
If I knew anything about UConn, other than the fact that they're demolishing everyone they play with a coach could be construed as ass-ish, I'd tell you. Honest.
Adam "played" right field for Team USA Sunday night in the World Baseball Classic. It's not that Adam Dunn isn't any good at playing right field, but ... actually no, I take that back, that's exactly what it is.
Smith, who's a sports radio host in San Diego (two strikes), decided to use his air as an opportunity to criticize LaDainian Tomlinson's charity pursuits during Thanksgiving. Nobody loves wasting time by finding people and stories to pick on more than I do, but even I'm having a hard time figuring out Smith's angle here. There's really only one rational explanation - he must just be wildly anti-tryptophan, the chemical in turkey that makes you sleepy, and wants to make sure the homeless aren't falling asleep on the dangerous streets. Whew, glad we solved that one.
Dan Rubenstein hosts and produces the SI Tour Guy video seriesfor SI.com and co-hosts The Solid Verbal college football podcastwith SI.com's Ty Hildenbrandt.