I often spend weeks -- even months -- researching and ruminating over the Team of Destiny. Other than selecting my next spouse, choosing my Team of Destiny is the single most important decision I make in any given year.
But this year's choice was a no-brainer, which, naturally, favors my thought process.
And, ladies and gentlemen, this year's NFL Team of Destiny is ...
Not so fast.
If I reveal the Team of Destiny this instant, you're off playing Sudoku or Tweeting before I finish writing this sentence. Heck, I've watched the Heisman Trophy show -- you think they tell you who's won the award before the first commercial break?
No, before I unveil this year's shocking Team of Destiny, we're going to sit back, pop open a Pabst Blue Ribbon and go over some Team of Destiny history.
Latecomers to Couch Slouch don't comprehend the origin of the Team of Destiny program. The idea was simple: Take a team from the league's scrapheap -- preferably one coming off several bad years -- and spiritually steer that franchise to a turnaround. Some people believe that the Arizona Cardinals failed me as the Team of Destiny last season because they lost the Super Bowl -- nonsense! The Team of Destiny's goal is to
I always chose a new Team of Destiny each year; however, I stuck with the Cardinals through five seasons because they acquired otherworldly
Back here on Earth, I now need to designate the next destiny-kissed ne're-do-well.
As I said earlier, there was no debate this year. Why quibble over the merits of various 3-13, 4-12 and 6-10 mediocrities when you have 0-16 staring at you?
That's right, folks, the Detroit Lions are your next Team of Destiny.
The NFL's first 0-16 team in history -- a franchise with eight consecutive losing years and one playoff victory in 51 seasons -- will improbably roar into Super Bowl 44.
Hey, if the Ford Motor Company can make a comeback, if the city of Detroit can make a comeback, if America can make a comeback, then certainly the Lions can make a comeback.
For starters, the Lions have been freed from
(By the way, in the 2001-to-2008 Millen era, the Lions lost their first 11 games
I am bullish on the Lions' new coach,
The '09 Lions aren't your '08 Lions. Gone are more than half the players -- last year: chicken liver; this year:
What, I'm supposed to fret because quarterback
So you read it here first, unless you stopped reading when I mentioned Sudoku:
Last season, the Cardinals -- who had never made a Super Bowl -- got there. This season, the Lions -- who have never made a Super Bowl -- will get there. It's not delusion; it's destiny.