From Adam Jones bashing Amari Cooper's head to the Colts attempt at a fake punt, this week's Sour Rankings runs down the best of the worst from the NFL's first half.
We're nearly at the midpoint of the NFL season, so there's no better time than right now to look back at the most memorable Sour Rankings moments from the first half of 2015.
Honorable mention, college football Halloween broadcast category
ESPN play-by-play man Chris Fowler appeared to know that zombie insane asylum patients were going to storm the booth on Saturday night. Analyst Kirk Herbstreit, well ... did not:
Looking for a quick way to draw a $35,000 fine from the NFL (but not a suspension, for whatever reason)? Just follow in Adam Jones' footsteps ...
This occurred in Week 1, meaning that Cooper was making his NFL debut. Quite the first impression of regular-season action.
9. Carolina's wild touchdown
8. Kicker celebration vs. punter celebration
A late addition to our first-half Sour Rankings, this is a tough call ... and an example of how sometimes we actually use Sour Rankings to highlight awesome occurrences from NFL games.
So, take your pick between the brilliant golf-shot celebration by New York punter Brad Wing ...
... and Baltimore kicker Justin Tucker after his game-winning kick, giving him best Drake impersonation:
Breaux's emergence has been one of the most important storylines during the Saints' charge of late. But there really was nowhere to go but up from this play, which happened in Week 2.
6. The Titans' two-point conversion
The fact that two AFC South plays made our midseason Sour Rankings should tell you all you need to know about that division. Here, the Titans needed a two-pointer to tie the Colts.
Instead, they turned a run up the middle into a 15-yard loss, and FB Jalston Fowler injured his knee.
5. NFL fields
The NFL makes approximately infinity dollars every week, so it is completely inexcusable for its fields and stadiums to not be up to snuff on game days. And yet, there were myriad issues over the season's first half, at multiple sites around the league.
There was the exploding turf in San Francisco:
Multiple players now have been hurt on an explicable track of concrete that circles the playing surface at St. Louis' Edward Jones Dome, including Reggie Bush, who suffered a potential season-ending knee injury Sunday.
Oh, and the Rams also set their field on fire during a pregame pyrotechnics display, prior to a matchup with Pittsburgh.
And the Bears' grounds crew had to scramble this week because whoever was responsible for drawing the yard lines failed to walk straight across the field.
4. Brandon Marshall's lateral
To quote Gob Bluth, "I've made a huge mistake."
Marshall later called this the "worst play in NFL history."
3. The Bennett brothers
Quite frankly, these guys are a journalist's dream. Leave the cliches at the door.
There was this quote from the Bears' tight end, Martellus:
is Jay Cutler too often criticized? Martellus: "They threw rocks at Jesus, & Jesus was an excellent guy who did a lot of awesome stuff."— Patrick Finley (@patrickfinley) October 4, 2015
And then this one from the Seahawks' defensive lineman, Michael:
Michael Bennett: "I don't like Matt Stafford much. He's from Dallas. They killed the President (JFK). ... I hold it against him."— Curtis Crabtree (@Curtis_Crabtree) October 6, 2015
And, finally, this back and forth between Martellus and Michael over that Matthew Stafford comment:
Martellus Bennett on his bro saying Matthew Stafford was to blame for JFK's assassination: "He's an asshole."— kyle meinke (@kmeinke) October 14, 2015
Michael Bennett on being called an a..hole by his brother: "A rich a-hole."— Bob Condotta (@bcondotta) October 14, 2015
Never change, fellas.
2. Kirk Cousins' greatest hit
This moment became so immediately popular that the Washington QB began selling "You like that!" t-shirts for charity.
SI's own Andrew Perloff later took things up a notch with his Cousins costume/impression during the "Dan Patrick Show" just before Halloween:
1. The Colts’ fake punt
You remember this one. Of course you do. How could anyone forget the worst trick play in the history of the NFL.
On the plus side, at least the call led to a Tecmo Super Bowl-style lampooning.