Benfica 0-1 Manchester United: Red Devils Secure Dull Win in Front of Half-Empty Stadium

Manchester United managed to maintain their 100% winning record in this year's Champions League with an amazingly dull 1-0 win over Benfica inside a half-empty Stadium of Light on Wednesday evening. 

A bizzarre second half goal coming courtesy of a Marcus Rashford free-kick, who later left the field with an injury, was enough to separate the two tremendously mundane sides and put the Red Devils three points clear at the top of Group A. 

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The opening 45 minutes was one that is hard to put into words. 

If you are a fan of corners that come to nothing, watching over 30 minutes of football without a shot on target, a well-fought contest of who could give the ball away the most, or need new material to mentally torture your arch nemesis, see if you can find a highlights package, as this one was an absolute belter. 

However, thankfully for me, I had just painted the office wall, two tone cream with a touch of grey, it's really quite nice, and luckily I could watch it dry - a better move than my first thought of sticking pens in my eyes.

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When the teams reemerged after the break and I realised I may have to sit through another 45 minutes of the same, I felt exactly how Jose Mourinho looks above, but just after the hour mark the game provided one of the strangest goals ever seen. 

Benfica goalkeeper Mile Svilar, who earned the title of youngest goalkeeper in Champions League history on Wednesday evening, had been suspect throughout the tie, with the teenager appearing overzealous and advancing uncomfortably far from his net on numerous occasions. 

So when Rashford was stood over a Manchester United free-kick, which was closer to the touchline than the Eagles' area, and spotted the youngster off his line, obviously the only thought in the Englishman's mind was to massively overhit his cross.

The goal-bound effort seemed to catch the Belgian custodian off-guard, and the 18-year-old ended up carrying the ball over his own goal-line after failing to decelerate in time whilst backpeddling - pretty much summing up the ridiculousness of this somehow Champions League clash. 

But as had been the norm all evening, the game then turned into one you would not even expect to see on a Sunday League pitch, with again neither side showing any quality whatsoever at any point, anywhere on the pitch. 

So I went to make a cup of tea. 

But I returned just in time to see the all-round horrendous night for the hosts turn even worse, as defender Luisao received his second yellow card of the evening in stoppage time after hacking-down substitute Scott McTominay. 

The result leaves Mourinho's side top of Group A by three points, and one hopes to never have to witness another fixture of this calibre again.