Burnley Manager Sean Dyche Ruptures Quad, Jokingly Rules Himself 'Out for Season'
Burnley have been handed a major injury blow as boss Sean Dyche has ruled himself out of a spot in the squad after rupturing his quad while away with the team in their warm-weather training camp.
I believe I speak for every single human on the planet when I say, there would have been nothing more entertaining than to see the 46-year-old, donned in claret and blue, ready to slot into a back four on the final day of the season following his side remaining winless since December, but somehow still assured of seventh spot.
However, unfortunately for the entirety of football, that will not be the case, as during a pre-match press conference, the Northamptonshire-born, husky-voiced, ginger God revealed to the Burnley Express that he is now looking at some time on the treatment table - but at least he will have most of his first-team squad to keep him company.
“I’ve ruptured my quad!", Dyche said. "Believe it or not, true story, I was knocking balls in for training, not even smashed it, and when you’re concentrating on something else, and doing something, at that split second, your brain isn’t locked in to what it needs to do, and my quad just went ‘boom’, properly ruptured.
“It recovers in about 12 weeks, and you can play football again, it glues itself back.
“But I am out for the season, I’m devastated!”
But, despite the setback scuppering the Englishman's daily running routine, he has insisted he will be ever-present on the Turf Moor touchline barking instructions to his players and most likely scouring the field in search for a tasty worm-based supper.
“I like running, so I can’t do that, but I’ll be all right standing for 90 minutes", he added.
“I’ve never done anything like that, had loads of injuries, but nothing with my thighs. It was the oddest sensation. You can’t do this and that, and it’s really odd. My leg is like jelly at the top.
"I went down, they all laughed! I was asked if it was cramp - no it wasn’t! It ruined my trip, second day! No golf, no nothing...”
I just hope this provokes the entire Burnley match day squad to show their support by wearing shirts of encouragement amid Dyche's plight ahead of their clash with Everton on Saturday, much like Manchester City and Ilkay Gundogan last season.
