By 90Min
March 07, 2018

A group of West Ham players have tried their hand at horse racing commentary, perhaps to distract themselves from the woes of their team.

Mark Noble, Joe Hart, James Collins and Patrice Evra attempted to learn the ins and outs of broadcasting, with mixed results.

The players were asked to acquire the basics before sitting an exam to assess their development as burgeoning commentators.

ITV Racing commentator and nominee for British commentator of the year Richard Hoiles was tasked with teaching them. Each player was taken to a separate room and shown a clip, to which they provided their own commentary while the other three watched on from next door, often in hysterics.


Noble went first and, after a spluttering beginning to his commentary, made his way to the end commendably.

He was certainly more enthusiastic than Hart, who appeared to be attempting to send his listeners to sleep. The England international gradually improved, though, and avoided any glaring errors. "Absolute blagsville in there, init," he said after. Maybe not a future career option then, Joe?

Collins, with his dulcet South Welsh tones, did not find himself in Blagsville. Instead, he went in with an air of expertise and came out with aspirations of taking Hoiles' job. 

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Finally, it was Evra's turn. The Frenchman was the most excitable, but appeared to have no idea what was happening. "I don't know what I'm doing here," he said.


As for the examination results, it was Collins, unsurprisingly, who emerged as top of the class, securing an A-. The video can be viewed on West Ham's official website.

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HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
OUT
HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
IN
Eagle (-2)
Birdie (-1)
Bogey (+1)
Double Bogey (+2)