Curb Your Enthusiasm: Slapstick Defending From Phil Jones Gifts Chelsea FA Cup Final Win

In the week leading up to the final, Manchester United were predictably considered the bookies' favourites to lift the FA Cup trophy. Pre-Team sheets:

In the week leading up to the final, Manchester United were predictably considered the bookies' favourites to lift the FA Cup trophy. 

Pre-Team sheets: 

FOUR 👀
MORE 😴
SLEEPS 💥

The #FACup final takes place this Saturday and Man Utd are 8/5 favourites to be victorious against a Chelsea side on the back of a 3-0 defeat at the hands of Newcastle in the #PL

Predictions? 🤔 pic.twitter.com/RtGfHvvOVD

— Betfred (@Betfred) May 15, 2018

I don’t like this “Man Utd are favourites” thing.

Never a good sign that.

— MUAYYAD K. (@Muayyad_K) May 19, 2018

However, dockets with Man Utd's name etched on them quickly ripped up by punters when Jose Mourinho named Chris Smalling and Phil Jones (yes, Smalling and Jones together, as a defensive partnership...hilarious right?) at the heart of the Red Devils' defence.

Post-Team Sheets: 

Predictably, this decision proved costly, as on the 20 minute mark, Phil Jones hacked down Eden Hazard inside the penalty area.

Post-Phil Jones' mistake: 

My manager leaves Eric Bailly, our best CB, on the bench, whilst still playing Chris Smalling and Phil Jones. I give up.

— Retro United (@Retro_Utd) May 19, 2018

It's when I remember that Phil Jones is in the England squad that the depression really begins to set in.

— (((Jon Benjamin)))🇬🇧🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇨🇱✡️ (@JonBenjamin19) May 19, 2018

Phil Jones is the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme song in human form #FACupFinal pic.twitter.com/L1T85hA2Tl

— Across the Pond (@acrossthepond) May 19, 2018

The Futility of Man's Struggle Against Himself
Phil Jones
2018-
105m x 69m pic.twitter.com/wNoZFJedlO

— Zito (@_Zeets) May 19, 2018

Despite playing with nine men - because, let's face it, Smalling and Jones don't count - Man Utd pressed forward with explicit intent at the start of the second half. Jose Mourinho's men thought they had drawn level through Alexis Sanchez on the hour mark, however, his goal was correctly ruled offside: 

63' - OHHH! @Alexis_Sanchez has the ball in the net but is flagged for offside. #MUFC #EmiratesFACup

— Manchester United (@ManUtd) May 19, 2018

That was the correct* offside call!

*If it had been against Chelsea I'd be rioting.

— Dana Wessel (@DanaWessel) May 19, 2018

How can an offside be harsh 😂 either is or isn't and he clearly is

— Sam Crimes (@CrimesSCFC) May 19, 2018

That was a terrific offside call, fair play to that linesman for nailing it in a big game #FACupFinal

— Chris Hardiman ☕🎸🚨🏈📺🏳️‍🌈🇮🇪 (@AJoyForever83) May 19, 2018

The Red Devils' offensive front was effectively counter-acted by the defensive ineptitude of Smalling and Jones in the second half, as poor positional play from the pairing allowed Marcos Alonso to clear sight of goal in the 71st minute. Fortunately for the English duo, Alonso spurned the opportunity to give his side a two goal lead: 

Marcos Alonso 😑😑. He was perfectly positioned to curl it home. Come on you blues!!#FACupFinal #EmiratesFACup #ComeOnChelsea #CHEMUN #cfc

— No one (@Thabinho14) May 19, 2018

Marcos Alonso, what was that.
Oh my God
Can't believe u missed that.#FACupFinal

— Olive (@talkativeolive) May 19, 2018

Marcos Alonso...smh

— Signor Ege (@Dr__Ege) May 19, 2018

With just ten minutes remaining, Paul Pogba channelled his inner Phil Jones to miss a glorious chance for the Red Devils. The French international was found unmarked on the edge of the six yard box by an Alexis Sanchez corner kick, however, he was amazingly unable to find the target with his subsequent headed effort: 

Pogba pic.twitter.com/H8dfYE1WEt

— Abst (@brianmuuo) May 19, 2018

Paul Pogba missing a free header to surely equalise the #FACupFinal pic.twitter.com/hip8pI9QOg

— Kian G (@QPR_Kian) May 19, 2018

POGBA!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!

— HK. (@HammaadKhaann) May 19, 2018

The mistake from Jones and the miss from Pogba would prove to be decisive, as Chelsea lifted the FA Cup trophy for the eighth time in their history, and seemingly send Antonio Conte off with a famous Wembley triumph: