Grudges. Let's be honest, we've all got them. Some are more rational than others: My barber, for example, will chat away with other patrons as I patiently wait my turn, regaling them with hilarious hair-based anecdotes. For some reason unbeknownst to me, as soon as I sit down in that chair, the relentless bonhomie jamboree is suddenly replaced with ashen faced silence.
Try as I might, I have never worked out why this is the case. Despite having a level of small talk up there with even the most intolerably upbeat taxi drivers, his wall of silence cannot be broken. Is it jealously of my thick and luscious locks? Or did I deeply offend him through my withering critique of the forever in vogue short backs and sides? I will never know. It pains me.
With this absolutely relevant example fresh in your mind, spare a thought for Manchester United ace Paul Pogba, who, try as he might, simply cannot impress his arch nemesis - Graeme Souness.
If you didn't manage to catch Manchester United's game last night, José Mourinho's side surged past the whimsically named Young Boys to bag an impressive 3-0 win, with captain Paul Pogba putting in a sensational performance. The former Juventus man bagged two goals and an assist, showing exactly why he's rated as one of Europe's finest midfielders.
As the 2018 World Cup winner went about his business in spectacular style, the ghost at the feast watched on - presumably in abject horror - from the television studio. At full time, the previously outspoken critic of Pogba was presented with the 25-year-old's jaw dropping match stats, and responded with a characterically bizarre rant about his least favourite player.
Souness said (via TalkSPORT): "I think he treats football as a bit of a joke. I wonder if he trains properly every day, that’s a stab in the dark at one of the things he could improve.
“I don’t see him having improved at all since the day he arrived, I still see flaws in him. I don’t see much difference in him from when he turned up.”
Souness' face was the portrait of a man wrestling with an internal struggle - like an embittered P.E teacher refusing to admit the talented pupil tearing it up in the playground will ever amount to anything - because they've got a personality. Pogba's cheeky blonde streak through his hair must have been a red flag to the snorting bull, prompting a meltdown of sheer bovine rage.
Eyes agape and nostrils quivering, Souness went into overdrive, banging out a greatest hits set of his favourite Pogba criticisms. It's hard to fathom how, after putting in a Man of the Match performance, any of the 65-year-old's stinging barbs could have been remotely relevant.
Souness' stubborn expression was reminiscent of an obstinate driver insisting they weren't in the wrong, after undertaking a tractor on a blind bend and ploughing headlong into a roadside burger van.
There really is something to be said for 'credit where credit's due', and Pogba worked his socks off last night. While the player may have underwhelmed at times last season, his attitude since returning from the World Cup has been exceptional. However, it looks like it's going to take a lot more to make Souness finally chow down on some richly deserved humble pie.