We're in the home straight as far as the transfer window in England's top two divisions is concerned, but we still have a few days left, while the rest of the continent has plenty of time to get some deals done.
What are we waiting for then? Let's jump into Monday's dose of rumoury goodness.
Steve Bruce Decides Against Andy Carroll Return
New Newcastle manager Steve Bruce is reported to have decided against moving to bring Andy Carroll back to the club this summer, as the former Hull City manager admits there is no urgency to get any further signings in the door.
The Magpies have already added Joelinton and Allan Saint-Maximin to the squad to the tune of £55m, replacing the departing Salomon Rondon and Ayoze Perez, and the Mirror say that the return for Carroll that had been on the cards is now no longer under consideration.
This seems to be supported by Bruce's comments on his new signings, as he said, via the Chronicle: "We've got one or two things bubbling away but if the window closed tomorrow, I'm delighted with what we've done.
"We've spent a hell of a lot of money on two players, two quality players, which I think is the way forward rather than having six or eight. The way forward now, for me anyway, is quality and you can see a bit of quality in what we've brought in."
Tottenham 'Closing' on Ryan Sessegnon With Josh Onomah to Be Offered
Tottenham 'closing in' on a deal for Ryan Sessegnon? As if we haven't been hearing this one all summer.
But no. It's definitely close now. Definitely, say the Mail. This time it's different, because Spurs are to include academy graduate Josh Onomah in the £30m deal to bring him to north London.
It does seem highly unlikely that Sessegnon will stay at Fulham, and Spurs do seem like the side most likely to get a deal done. But it's gone on for so long with so many different permutations that it would perhaps be wise not to believe it til you see it.
Victor Camarasa 'Set' for Crystal Palace Move
Crystal Palace are reportedly set to sign Real Betis midfielder Victor Camarasa on loan with a €15m obligation to buy.
The Spanish midfielder impressed with Cardiff City last season, at times looking head and shoulders above any of his team-mates as they suffered relegation back to the Championship, and it has long seemed as if his performances would earn him a second crack at Premier League football.
According to the Independent, that long-awaited move will come in the next 48 hours; with Palace closing in on a loan deal that will all-but-certainly become permanent next summer.
Leeds Closing in on Inter Striker
Have any of Football Insider's 'exclusives' ever actually come to anything? There's a first time for everything, I suppose...
Their latest gem links Leeds United to Inter striker Facundo Colidio (although they've spelled his name wrong) saying that they are prepared to offer a long-term contract to the 19-year-old in a bid to stave off interest from Newcastle, who are in 'pole position' to secure his signing (although we've already established aren't really looking for a new striker.)
They've quoted a Leeds source (who definitely exists) in saying that the club are 'keen' to sign him, but fear the competition from the Magpies, offering up the pearl of insightful wisdom that the Premier League side have 'greater resources'. It then ends with an 'in other news' link to another article on their website, and haven't even named the player it relates to in a ham-fisted attempt to bait clicks..
We'll let you make up your own mind on this one. Let's move on to something less terrible before my headache gets any worse.
Juventus to Offer Three Players for Paul Pogba
Oh. Never mind then. Yep, reports in Italy say that Juventus haven't given up on Paul Pogba, and will make a last ditch attempt to secure his signing by offering up three players for his signature.
The problem here? One of the players in question is Paulo Dybala, in whom United are reported to have ended their interest after failing to agree terms with him the last time he was offered to them, as a pawn in Juve's ill-fated approach for Romelu Lukaku.
All a bit confusing? Yeah, blame Tuttosport (via Football Italia) for that. Anyway, they say that Mario Mandzukic and Blaise Matuidi are the other players on the table, with Pogba's agent Mino Raiola masterminding the deal along with Juve directors Fabio Paratici and Pavel Nedved.
You would be forgiven for thinking that is far too many moving parts for a deal to be concluded in the next three days.
Mauro Icardi 'Wants to Stay' at Inter
Some transfer sagas are exciting, some a bit banal, and most fall somewhere in between. The ongoing stand-off between Mauro Icardi and Inter can decidedly be placed on the far 'please just end' side of that spectrum, but now it looks as if it might not even roll on beyond the summer.
Exhibit A: Gazzetta dello Sport say, via CalcioMercato, that the striker now wants to stay at the club by any means necessary, speculating that his wife and agent Wanda Nara may be pregnant, and this could be behind the dramatic U-turn.
Exhibit B: Italian press also say that Inter have rather savagely decided he is welcome to stay, he just won't play for the two years he has remaining on his contract, and will be released at the end of it.
The worst staring contest in history goes on.
Arsenal Have Bid Rejected for Dayot Upamencano
Breaking | RB Leipzig have rejected a €60m bid from Arsenal for Dayot Upamecano, according to Bild.— Get German Football News (@GGFN_) August 5, 2019
Arsenal's flagrant ignorance of their defensive problems has been one of the more amusing aspects of the transfer window so far for those who don't support the Gunners, as despite their serious lack of dependable options worsening with the saga involving Laurent Koscielny, the only defender they have signed will remain in France until next summer.
However, the latest from GGFN suggests that isn't for the want of trying, as they source Bild in saying that a €60m bid from Arsenal has been rejected by German side RB Leipzig for defender Dayot Upamencano.
So much for that £40m transfer budget, eh?
Galatasaray Keen on Tiemoue Bakayoko
And to close things out with a good old bit of speculation, Turkish side Galatasaray are reported to be 'exploring' the possibility of a loan deal for Chelsea midfielder Tiemoue Bakayoko, with his £120,000 weekly wage proving the major stumbling point so far..
Goal say that their interest comes after Frank Lampard has decided against keeping the former Monaco man around this season, with Jorginho, N'Golo Kante, Matteo Kovacic and more advanced options Mason Mount and Ross Barkley making up the core of his midfield for the season ahead - with Ruben Loftus-Cheek to return towards the end of the year.
An offer hasn't yet been submitted, with Chelsea preferring a clean sale rather than a loan, but there is no rush on negotiations over this one, with the Blues unable to sign a replacement regardless of if or when it goes through.