Kit Kats are delicious candy bars, helpfully segmented for easy sharing and cleaner consumption. Miami Marlins outfielder Giancarlo Stanton has no respect for the careful design created by English confectioner Rowntree's.
Stanton's teammate Dee Gordon posted a photo to Twitter Monday afternoon in which Stanton is eating a Kit Kat like some kind of barbarian. It is upsetting.
Stanton usually reserves this sort of blatant disrespect for baseballs, which he routinely blasts into other dimensions. And he's going to make $325 million over the next 13 years, so he can do whatever he wants.
But Internet users would not let Stanton's crime go unnoticed.
I'm actually kinda offended that Giancarlo Stanton eats Kit Kat bars like that. Does he snickers like a typewriter/cob of corn eating, too?— Dan Szymborski (@DSzymborski) June 1, 2015
I saw a kid in Target once eating a kit Kat like Giancarlo Stanton. I think I tweeted about how much it bothered me.— Glen (@GlenDiesel) June 1, 2015
Physically hurts to see Stanton eat a Kit Kat like that.— Ayn Rand Al'Thor (@j15royals) June 1, 2015
The way Giancarlo Stanton eats his Kit Kat makes me so angry— Jacob (@JacobyWanKanobi) June 1, 2015
The Marlins never making the playoffs as long as Stanton there just because he ate a kit kat that way— Robot w/ Human Hair (@SobLucci) June 1, 2015
Stanton may hit dingers but that's no excuse for him to eat a kit-kat without breaking them off individually. Who bites a whole kit-kat!— RedSoxNation (@BUBBABROOKS3) June 1, 2015