By Neil Janowitz
May 30, 2013


FIFA president and known charmer Sepp Blatter recently drew himself a nice bath of hot water when he referred to a female candidate for a position on FIFA's executive committee as "good and good-looking". What the riled masses seem to be forgetting is that appraisal is a two-way street. We know Blatter isn't particularly good. But is he good-looking? Nine well-qualified women weigh in.

Ian Walton || Getty Images Ian Walton || Getty Images


Writer for McSweeney's and Funny or Die

Twitter: @swalks

There are very few men who are evil and powerful enough to pull off the Mr. Burns "excellent" pose so flawlessly, and there's something super hot about that. Or maybe he's actually doing an impression of Mr. Burns and he's really funny! Any way you slice it, he's a keeper! (Goalie joke).

VERDICT: Good-looking.

sepp_edith Daniel Berehulak || Getty Images


Founding editor of The Hairpin

Twitter: @edithzimmerman

He seems to have lovely skin tone and looks healthy and content. I hope he is. I like the crinkles around his eyes, and I like his simple hairstyle. I'm not crazy about the tie, but it's also not bad. If I were an older man, I'd be happy to look this way. I hope he's having a nice day.

VERDICT: Good-looking.

sepp_friedman Harold Cunningham || Getty Images


Former Letterman writer, current Daily Show producer, stand up comic

Twitter: @JenaFriedman

I'm a sucker for misogynists with kind eyes—but when only one of the eyes looks kind while the other looks like it's having a stroke, I'm slightly less intrigued. That being said, it's been a long time since I've felt anything for anyone.

VERDICT: Mr. Blatter is totally good-looking!!



Beauty director for Life & Style Weekly

Twitter: @CaitKiernan

I'm sure he was a looker when he had a full head of hair and collagen in his skin. The positive is that he doesn't burn the eyes and if he had some off-shore accounts, I'd date him.

VERDICT: On the border, but better looking than super-ugly.

sell_iliza Icon SMI


Host of Excused, Winner of Last Comic Standing, Mother of Dragons

Twitter: @iliza

Your hand looks like the shrimp hand from the dinner party scene in Beetlejuice. Even your name makes you sound like a Marvel villain.

VERDICT: Not good-looking.

sepp_lane Icon SMI


Editor at Life & Style and In Touch Weekly

Twitter: @LauraLaneNYC

He's definitely going for the "I'm balding on top so I should grow it long in the back," and I can appreciate the effort. The navy blue suit and tie brings out his ... eyes? Wait, maybe they're brown.

VERDICT: Not good-looking.

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Editor at Large of TheGloss

Twitter: @JenAshleyWright

What I like is the way the sheen from his tie picks up the gleam of his moon-like forehead. Shine on, mountainous bald patch, shine on forever! You have every right to look pleased with yourself, you glowing moon-head.

VERDICT: Good looking!

sepp_bridey PIUS UTOMI EKPEI || AFP || Getty Images


Actress, writer, comedian

Twitter: @brideylee

A Haiku:

Eyes like black pebbles

Dimples so careless and free

But a bent finger




Host of MTV's Nikki & Sara LIVE

Twitter: @nikkiglaser

Those are the hands of a man who's built a sex dungeon.


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