Don't make me assume my ultimate form. (NSFW) Send any suggestions to SI.TheLineup@gmail.com. (Bold indicates a national broadcast. All times Eastern.)
- Laura Chapin of U.S. News is not very happy about the NFL's no-purses policy.
- Vegas is getting electronic Texas Hold'em machines. Michael Kaplan of the New York Times explains how they'll take all of your money.
- Ryan Leaf's cellmate, John Cagney Nash, spills the beans in a Playboy story about the NFL bust's jailhouse confessions.
World Cup Qualifying
Costa Rica vs. United States, 10:00p.m. (beIN Sport—channel finder)
The snow game between these two teams was an instant classic, but the Ticos aren't particularly happy about having been on the wrong side of such an incredible match. Costa Rica as a nation has coalesced to do everything they can to drive the Yanks crazy leading up to this game, including slowdowns at passport control, planned traffic jams, denying them practice balls, and one seriously overdramatic magazine illustration.
"We're expecting you..." The cover of today's Al Dia: pic.twitter.com/Apv9kX37Nd
— Brian Straus (@BrianStraus) September 3, 2013
Brewers vs. Cubs, 2:20p.m.
Braves vs. Phillies, 7:05p.m.
Red Sox vs. Yankees, 7:05p.m.
White Sox vs. Orioles, 7:05p.m.
Mets vs. Indians, 7:05p.m.
Dodgers vs. Reds, 7:10p.m.
Nationals vs. Marlins, 7:10p.m.
Tigers vs. Royals, 8:10p.m.
Blue Jays vs. Twins, 8:10p.m.
Pirates vs. Cardinals, 8:15p.m.
Astros vs. Athletics, 10:05p.m.
Rangers vs. Angels, 10:05p.m.
Rockies vs. Padres, 10:10p.m.
Rays vs. Mariners, 10:10p.m.
Diamondbacks vs. Giants, 10:15p.m.
Washington Mystics vs. Connecticut Sun, 7:00p.m.
Atlanta Dream vs. New York Liberty, 7:30p.m.
L.A. Sparks vs. Tulsa Shock, 8:00p.m.
Indiana Fever vs. Chicago Sky, 8:30p.m.
San Antonio Silver Stars vs. Phoenix Mercury, 10:00p.m.
U.S. Open, 12:30p.m. (CBS)
Serena Williams will get one hell of a test today as she plays two semifinal matches: one in the women's singles bracket, the other in doubles. But don't be surprised if her match against Na Li goes by faster than a Bachelorette break-up
Soccer: World Cup Qualifying
Mexico vs. Honduras, 9:30p.m. (Unimas)
Moldova vs. England, 3:00p.m. (Fox Sports 1)
Russia vs. Luxembourg, 10:25a.m. (ESPN3)
Macedonia vs. Wales, 12:55 (ESPN3)
Malta vs. Denmark, 1:55p.m. (ESPN3)
Turkey vs. Andorra, 1:55p.m. (ESPN3)
Romania vs. Hungary, 1:55p.m. (ESPN3)
Latvia vs. Lithuania, 2:05p.m (ESPN3)
Georgia vs. France, 2:10p.m. (ESPN3)
Bosnia-Herzegovina vs. Slovakia, 2:10p.m. (ESPN3)
Finland vs. Spain, 2:25p.m. (ESPN3)
Slovenia vs. Albania, 2:25p.m. (ESPN3)
Estonia vs. Netherlands, 2:25p.m. (ESPN3)
Poland vs. Montenegro, 2:40p.m. (ESPN3)
Northern Ireland vs. Portugal, 2:40p.m. (ESPN3)
Serbia vs. Croatia, 2:40p.m. (ESPN3)
Liechtenstein vs. Greece, 2:40p.m. (ESPN3)
Germany vs. Austria, 2:40p.m. (ESPN3)
Switzerland vs. Iceland, 2:40p.m. (ESPN3)
University of Central Florida vs. Florida International, 8:00p.m. (CBS Sports Network)
Wake Forest vs. Boston College, 8:00p.m. (ESPN2)
High School Football
Bergen Catholic (NJ) at John Curtis (LA), 7:00p.m. (Fox Sports 1)
Oscar Smith vs. Lake Taylor, 8:00p.m. (ESPNU)
FIBA Americas Championship
Argentina vs. Jamaica, 11:20a.m. (ESPN3)
Mexico vs. Uruguay, 1:50p.m. (ESPN3)
Germany vs. Ukraine, 8:20a.m. (ESPN3)
Montenegro vs. Bosnia-Herzegovina, 8:20a.m. (ESPN3)
Belgium vs. Great Britain, 11:35a.m. (ESPN3)
Latvia vs. Lithuania, 11:35a.m. (ESPN3)
Auctions America, 8:00p.m. (NBC Sports)
Live! With Kelly and Michael Guests: Fox NFL Sunday Studio Crew, 9:00a.m. (Varies)
Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team, 9:00p.m. (CMT)
Yes, the show appeals to our more prurient interests. But there's more to it than that. Beyond the wiggling bodies, there's something to be said for great one-liners such as "It's hard to undo stupid."
John Wall, Washington Wizards Guard, 22
Jillian Hall, WWE Diva, 32