Note: My name is Gabriel Baumgaertner. Your usual, trusted Hot Clicks guide, Andy Gray, is out today because he's moving across Jersey City to live closer to a dog park. That's the excuse he gave me, at least. And just as any good doctors, or nurse practitioners, would promise their patients before giving them an injection, I can promise you that the pain will be temporary. Andy will be back tomorrow. That said, please let me know what you like and don't like at email@example.com. I have a comically low number of Twitter followers at @gbaumgaertner. With more followers, I may post more often, though I'm not sure I will ever become any more clever or interesting. But for now, ready, aim and boo your loudest.
Flopping/Flying Dutchman + King James (That's Ha-Mez)
Arjen Robben has dramatic flair -- check out this spectacularly embellished dive, which drew a penalty kick in injury time of the Netherlands' Round of 16 game against Mexico on Sunday. Klaas Jan Huntelaar converted the spot kick for the game-winner, sending the Dutch into the quarterfinals with a thrilling 2-1 victory. Guyism compiled the Vine that may best encapsulate Americans' frustrations with soccer, at least more so than Ann Coulter’s claim that soccer is the root of American moral decay. And since Mexico found another way to lose a heartbreaker in the Round of 16 (Sunday’s loss marked El Tri's sixth consecutive World Cup exit in the first elimination round), let’s revisit the glorious heartbreaker that was Maxi Rodriguez’s supergoal that lifted Argentina over Mexico in 2006. Sadly this means the end of the line for Miguel Herrera, he of the greatest GIF of all-time and plenty of others.
The Robben flop stole the weekend away from James Rodriguez (you should know how to pronounce his name by now), whose stupendous strike propelled Colombia into the quarterfinals. His play earned plaudits from another man named James, while Rodriguez appears to have been a fan for some time.
His Name is What?
As the proud owner of a long, oft-butchered last name, I enjoyed the game-tying effort of Sokratis Papastathopolous in Greece's loss to Costa Rica (aka No Economy vs. No Standing Army) on Sunday. Papastathopolous has the longest surname of any goal-scorer in World Cup history. He even started trending on Twitter, had his name digitally transposed onto a Mets jersey (as if losing in the World Cup wasn’t painful enough) and provided a likely unintentional homage to Jason Terry with his plane celebration.
BET Awards 2014
Chris Rock took furious aim at Donald Sterling in his opening monologue at the BET Awards, which featured DeSean Jackson in a denim vest and a Civil War chic hat. Rock then quizzed a series of monster truck rally fans … about the BET Awards. Sadly, nothing could top the cacophonous, bizarre reggae compilation that headlined last year’s awards.
Lovely Lady of the Day
This one is all Andy Gray, folks. Though these photos lead me to believe that Ashley Sky is probably a sweet swimming buddy.
Odds and Ends
Josh Harrison got in the rundown to end all rundowns on Friday night ... Today is the birthday of Vincent D’Onofrio, whom you know best as Private Pyle from Full Metal Jacket. D’Onofrio looks strikingly like UCLA’s Eddie Vanderdoes, who looks a little bit like former big league first baseman Nick Johnson … Bill Plaschke of the Los Angeles Times penned a refreshing, candid interview with Landon Donovan where Donovan admits he considered cheering against the U.S. purely out of spite. The whole column is superb ... And here is a Rob Ford impersonator smoking a "crack pipe" at Toronto's Pride parade.
A Somber Note
College football fans will likely remember burly Auburn tight end Phil Lutzenkirchen, a ferocious blocker who holds the school record for touchdown catches by a TE. His last name, his physique and his fearless style of play made him a Tigers’ fan favorite. Lutzenkirchen, 23, was killed in a car accident on Sunday morning in LaGrange, Ga. Fans gathered at Toomer’s Corner to pay their respects to the man who was famous for his crucial TD catch against Alabama and his one-handed scoring snag against Ole Miss, which made SportsCenter's Top 10.