Every Simpsons Ever, The Day Productivity Grinded To A Halt
Right now, FXX is doing the unprecedented human service of airing every single Simpsons episode ever. It's the sort of marathon perfect for people like you and me, who occasionally need to give up on life, lay strung out on the couch and watch 24-hour blocks of cartoons while ordering far too many pizzas for just one person. In conjunction with this beautifully burnt-out moment in American culture, we present to you a gallery of all the appearances athletes have made on the Simpsons over the course of its 25-season run.
Watch This 2-Year-Old Identify Every WWE Theme Thrown At Him
Look, if your 2-year-old knows John Cena's song, that's fine I guess. If he knows Daniel Bryan's "Yes!" chant? Not bad. Roman Reigns' walk-on? Pretty good. But man, this kid is naming guys like Bo Dallas and Jack Swagger after the first note of their entrance music. It's perhaps the most impressive name-that-tune performance of all time, and we can only imagine it's because that kid has been reading every word of Extra Mustard's wrestling coverage. Some kids know their times tables, some kids can read at college levels, but there's only a select few with an encyclopedic knowledge of wrestling themes. I think we know who the truly great parents are.
It's Too Easy to Make Fun Of Bama Fans
We've been featuring Bama a lot on Hot Clicks lately, but that's because Bama fans are the gift that keeps on giving. Just look at this beautiful fan trailer. That spray paint reads "Home of a Crimson Tide," blissfully uncaring about any grammatical issues. The icing on the cake is probably that DIRECTV satellite attached to the mailbox. We love you Bama, don't ever change.
Lovely Lady Of The Day
I don't know much about Daniela Lopez Osorio, other than that she's a very pretty lady from Colombia. But she did recently take an Instagram where she asked her loyal adherents to choose between herself, her pretty friend, or the slice of pizza she was eating. Her caption? "If I were you, I'd pick the pizza." She was either being coy or literally eating the most life-changing pizza ever conceived by mankind. Click here for the full-sized gallery.
We Feel You, Mrs. Shoemaker
What would you do if your significant other was a rookie in Major League Baseball and had somehow managed to carry a no-hitter deep into the 7th, only to get all hopes of glory dashed away with a double to left field? Would you throw things? Cry? Steel yourself against emotion and manage a callous "You did your best?" Or would you take to social media, and call the player who broke up your beloved's no-no a "butthole." That's what Danielle Shoemaker did, and frankly, we can't blame her one bit. She eventually deleted the tweet, because people on the internet are the worst, but don't let them get you down, Danielle. You can call anyone you want a butthole.
From Mecca to Ghost Town In Less Than Six Months
We all know the Olympics generally do more harm than good to the nations that host the ridiculously expensive undertakings. These images from Sochi only reinforce those depressing facts more. Rosa Khutor was one of the primary spots for all of that Winter Games pageantry, and now it's completely deserted. An abandoned wasteland of money and Coca-Cola sponsorship. It seriously looks like the beginning of 28 Days Later, except instead of zombies its discarded governmental interest.
Odds & Ends
Johnny Manziel will get fined for his finger ... The brains behind Madden 15 ... Le'Veon Bell apparently didn't know you could get a DUI for weed ... 50 Cent challenges Floyd Mayweather to a Harry Potter reading contest ... The 9 best food options at the U.S Open ... The Buffalo Bills keep fighting each other at training camp.
Peyton Manning Will Not Sell You That Gatorade
I really hope this marks a return to stern, silent Peyton Manning who doesn't have to wear his jersey to make you laugh. This is the exact same Manningface we saw last year at the Super Bowl.
The Greek Freak Needs Exactly Two Dribbles To Go Coast-To-Coast
As Reddit user punkyo put it, "This is as close as we will see to an octopus making it to the NBA."