While everyone was busy making a stink about Marshawn Lynch's non-answers at Super Bowl Media Day, teammate Michael Bennett was giving a performance for the ages.
Everything that came out of Bennett's mouth was delightfully absurd, but we'll try to distill it all here anyway.
On Tom Brady: "I compare him to Captain America," he said. "I think about Aaron Rodgers, he's like Chris Evans before he got the HGH injection in Captain America. But before he was super smart and was still witty and stuff. That's how I see Tom Brady."
On the possibility of beating Tom Brady and Peyton Manning in consecutive Super Bowls: "Yeah, it's like Madonna annnnnnnnnd Marilyn Monroe."
Regardless of who your favorite team is, you have to be rooting for Bennett to get back to the Super Bowl next year, just so he can get another unfiltered hour at the podium.
- Dan Gartland