How to get your family to let you watch NBA games on Christmas
The NBA always puts a wonderful slate of games together for Christmas, and this year they even have cool uniforms to match. Unfortunately there are many other things that stand in the way of you and watching five straight NBA games on the 25th of December.
Extra Mustard has decided to step up and help you shirk your responsibility to your loved ones on Friday so you can spend some quality time enjoying NBA superstars show off their finest moves. Just follow our game-by-game guide and you will not miss a moment of action, although you may not be in great standing with your family for 2016.
Pelicans-Heat, Noon E.T.
Everyone is pretty tired from a morning filled with gifts and maybe some breakfast casseroles, so you can get by pretty easily by saying something about “taking a few minutes to rest and think about family” and then give yourself the gift of Hassan Whiteside and Anthony Davis defending the paint.
Bulls-Thunder, 2:30 p.m.
Things are probably heating back up around the house now. Either guests are arriving or you need to make the drive over to your relatives house. Find the gift that requires the most assembly, sit down in front of the TV and act busy. Once the game starts winding down, say you “didn't have the right tools for the job,” and shove the pieces back into the box.
Cavaliers-Warriors 5:00 p.m
Okay, so this is the best game of the day, and it also falls right in the middle of dinner time for most people. This is where you’ll have to get creative and find a way to get booted from the dining table. Be disgusting. Quote Donald Trump. Stick your hands into foodstuffs where they don’t belong. Ask an elderly person an inappropriate question. Soon, everyone will be begging you to leave. That’s when you stand up in a dignified huff and proclaim, “If you don’t want me, then I’m sure Steph and LeBron do,” and storm out righteously.
Spurs-Rockets 8:00 p.m.
Grab your dearest, or nearest, loved one, look them directly in the eyes and say “This could be my last Christmas with Tim Duncan. Do you want to be responsible for robbing me of that?”
Clippers-Lakers 10:30 p.m
There is no good reason to watch this game. For most of the country it starts late, and the Lakers are absolutely horrible. So this is where you tell your family you have gambled an obscene amount of money on the game and everyone’s future depends on the outcome. The long term repercussions could be severe, but it should buy you a couple hours with the television.