Why does the Cubs’ new clubhouse look like a cruise ship nightclub?

The Chicago Cubs unveiled their new clubhouse on Tuesday, and it looks much more club than house.
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The Chicago Cubs unveiled their new clubhouse to the media on Tuesday, and it certainly looks way more club than house.

Seriously, what is this monstrosity? It looks like the seedy, fifth-deck nightclub on a cruise ship where a bunch of 22-year-olds pound piña coladas.

And why is this bear staring at everyone?

Wouldn’t these lights get annoying after a while? I’d feel like I’m stuck in a casino.

I mean, come on.

No, for sure, a fog machine is a totally practical thing for a professional sports team’s clubhouse to include. And it’s only a matter of time before someone gets injured because they went too hard when the disco ball dropped. 

Whatever, I’m sure turning their clubhouse into nightclub will be great juju for the Cubs, who definitely aren’t the type of organization who need to worry about upsetting any kind of spirits.

– Rohan Nadkarni