'Man stuck in toilet' is the most horrifying story of 2016
It’s a Friday in August, which means it’s pretty slow for sports news and bloggers can take it—oh dear god what is this photo of a man stuck in a toilet?
Cato Berntsen Larsen, a 20-year-old man who cares about electronics way more than the rest of us, had to be saved from a toilet tank after a failed attempt to retrieve his cell phone, reports the AFP.
Larsen jumped down a toilet seat to recover his phone at the bottom of an outhouse. The only problem? He couldn’t get back up. Look at these terrifying quotes:
“I was down there an hour, I was panicking,” he said, adding there were “animals” crawling on his body.
Overcome by nausea and vomiting, he tried in vain to pull himself of the tank, and which is only emptied once a year, according to VG.
The rescue was a "first" for the local fire brigade, she acknowledged. “It was pretty full down there.”
I honestly can’t think of many worse ways to describe a toilet repository than “full.” And after soaking in human excrement for an hour, Larsen wasn’t even able to recover his phone!
The photo of Larsen’s hands creeping over the toilet rim even though he has no chance of escape could legitimately be the backdrop of a horror movie poster. I can’t wait when a year from now Tom Hanks is trying to escape a outhouse filled up to his thighs in poop.