The NFL decided it would be cool to have some of its best players compete in a dodgeball game in the days leading up to the boring-as-hell Pro Bowl, and thought it would be even cooler to call it “Epic Pro Bowl Dodgeball.” Honestly, that would have been a good enough blog right there, but an even jucier plot emerged during the playing of Thursday night’s game—Alex Smith sucks.
As the game got going, Jon Gruden—like many of the few hundred watching—suspected that the quarterbacks would be worth watching in this one. That makes perfect sense, seeing as they launch large footballs with spectacular exit velocities on a weekly basis.
Things started out well for Smith—he bravely approached the line and picked up two balls. This would be the highlight of his afternoon. After that, he tried to show off by tossing one to T.Y. Hilton without looking, and wound up throwing it away from him.
Next, as Gruden brags about how Smith is going to “cut it loose,” and the Chiefs QB conservatively hangs on to his dodgeball and chills out near the sideline. That would give way to his ultimate lowlight, his throw.
Yeah, Smith tossed a dodgeball like a goalie would a soccer ball, only it went directly into the ground. To make matters worse, he then stood in the way of Jay Ajayi, who was trying to avoid getting hit but ran into Smith’s useless corpse.
Mercifully, minutes later, Smith would shuffle his feet around and get eliminated by failing to catch a ball.
Good for Alex, though—he did salvage this performance by catching a dodgeball and eliminating one player. And there’s something to be said for surviving so long, though he probably hurt his team much more than he helped it.
Also, special shoutout to professional ball-catcher Jarvis Landry for dropping a ball thrown at him and punting it away.