Please go shame Brian Kenny for this awful "Major League" take

Monday July 17th, 2017

I won't bore you with a long spiel on why this take is wrong; it just is. It is flat out the most wrong thing that has ever existed.

Wrong. Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong. The kind of wrong that makes you want to shout it from the rooftops. Wrrooooooooooong.

For those uninformed, Major League is a terrific movie about a ragtag group of nobodies who take the Cleveland Indians from losers to unlikely pennant winners. Major League II is its sequel, and it's a fine movie, albeit one where Omar Epps is tasked with replacing Wesley Snipes and featuring the uncomfortably racial comedy stylings of Takaaki Ishibashi as Tanaka, the Japanese outfielder who spends most of the movie howling in broken English. (The 1990s were a very different time.)

Anyway, Major League II is mediocre at best and utterly skippable, coming into the world only because the first movie was such a runaway success and, really, showing no reason of its own to exist, given how it's mostly a rehash of the original that hits all the same beats but with new characters who aren't funny or interesting or good. (The Onion does a better job blowing up the paint-by-numbers plot of the sequel in its inimitable way.) Major League, meanwhile, is one of the finest sports comedies ever made, eminently quotable ("We've got uniforms and everything, it's really great."; "This guy here is dead!" "Cross him off, then."; literally anything and everything Lou Brown says) and perfectly constructed, even if the lineup that Brown writes up for the division-deciding game against the Yankees seems to jump hitters repeatedly and even if he should have been fired on the spot for letting Rick Vaughn face Clu Haywood.

The internet has created a world wherein you are no longer allowed to have an opinion about anything—anything at all—without having seemingly thousands of anonymous people come crawling out of the digital woodwork to tell you how stupid you are for it. This is an awful way to live: Love the things you want to love, and have the opinions you want to have without shame or fear of reprisal, and don't go around blasting people for expressing a thought that isn't exactly the way you feel about something.

That having been said: There exists no universe in which Major League II is better than Major League. Brian Kenny, smart as he is, lives in a world built on lies and fallacies when it comes to this. He is wrong, and you should go tell him that he is wrong.

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