I Think This Wax Statue of Celtics Great Paul Pierce Needs a Little Work

Paul's looked better.
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A memo to the fine folks at the Dreamland Wax Museum in Boston: Whatever your facial model was for this statue of retiring Celtics great Paul Pierce, it was wrong.

Far be it from me to suggest I could do any better, but man, that face isn't even close. My man looks like Bubbles after he got clean. Paul's wax cheekbones look like they could slice through steel. The Cristiano Ronaldo bust is looking at this thing and going, "Thank God that's not me."

It's not a great wax statue, is what I'm saying.