America's Football Dad hits the beach but forgets his style.
What even is this, Bill?
Where do you start with this photo of Patriots head coach Bill Belichick and his girlfriend, Linda Holliday? Most of you probably gravitated right toward the toe shoes, and that's a good decision, because there is no way at all to look good while wearing those. But don't lose sight of the "VII Rings" visor, which is the dream gift for every football-loving dad on the planet, or that Gadsden flag-referencing t-shirt, which is the dream gift for every dad who posts bizarre and uncomfortable conservative memes on Facebook. And then there's the caption, in which Holliday channels her inner Jane Austen and christens Belichick as the NFL's Mr. Darcy—and that's accurate to some degree, at least, in that both Belichick and Darcy are insanely weird misanthropes who initially seem to hate everyone (though if we're going to compare the Patriots' famously dour head coach to any figure in romantic 19th-century British literature, Wuthering Heights' Heathcliff seems more appropriate).
Ah well. For as downright goofy as he looks, at least ol' Bill gets to be on vacation in a nice, warm, sunny place with a loving partner by his side. Though I bet he'd trade it all for a visor that reads "VIII Rings."
Behold, tech jargon!
I am in awe of the utter babble that ex-NBA star and current Laura Dern boo Baron Davis put together in that absurd press release. That thing reads like Silicon Valley Con Man Bingo. The writers of Silicon Valley are staring at that thing and wondering how they'll ever top anything like it. I demand to be allowed to attend this conference so that I can learn the secrets of disruptive synergy from the upper echelon of whoever is dumb enough to fall for this.
Lovely Lady of the Day
Alexis Ren earned this year's Rookie of the Year honors for the 2018 SI Swimsuit issue. She's also earned today's Lovely Lady of the Day honors. She probably cares more about the former. You can check out her full gallery here.
Nothing says "romance" like a puzzle game proposal at halftime
At least they solved it?
Chloe Kim did Valentine's Day right
I am my own Valentine 💖— Chloe Kim (@chloekimsnow) February 15, 2018
So did Norway's men's curling team
Odds and Ends
KNBR radio personality Patrick Connor was fired for some insanely gross and dumb comments about Chloe Kim ... And here's Bode Miller with some dumb comments of his own about how getting married might be behind Olympic skier Anna Veith's struggles ... Sebastian Janikowski's Raiders career is over after 18 (!) seasons with the team ... RIP to John "Tito" Francona, former big leaguer and father of Indians manager Terry Francona ... Jamaica's women's bobsled hopes are in turmoil after the team's coach suddenly quit amid drama ... The father of a Swiss Olympic skier traveled 17,000 kilometers (or about 10,500 miles) via bike from Switzerland to South Korea to see his son compete. Guess he waited too long to book a flight ... Isaiah Thomas and Rajon Rondo got ejected for fighting during Wednesday's Lakers-Pelicans game, with Rondo apparently starting the kerfuffle ... The Kings almost blew up the Cavaliers' wild trade deadline thanks to some good old fashioned front office incompetence.
Ain't no party like a Gronk party
And the gold medal for best Olympic skeleton helmet goes to...
The most savage feud in baseball continues
Liverpool's Mo Salah banters Porto out of existence
Kyrie Irving remains very weird
It's Thursday, y'all
You got it.
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