Bill Belichick is a killer
Noted fun guy Bill Belichick decided to keep things light on Monday by canceling Patriots practice and taking everyone out to play paintball instead. It looked like everyone had a good time.
Everyone except Kyle Van Noy.
The veteran linebacker said Tuesday night on a Twitch stream that he was still feeling the effects of one particular shot to the grill.
“I got hit, I’m telling you,” Van Noy said on the stream. “This paintball hit me in the mask, and the mask hit my tooth and my s--- still hurts.”
Teammate Dont’a Hightower pressed Van Noy to reveal who the shooter was and eventually admitted it was Belichick: “Bill got my ass.”
That shouldn’t come as a surprise. You know Belichick was studying his opponents’ tactics and was sitting back waiting to plunk Van Noy right between the eyes.
The U.S. won by an (American) football score
Thirteen goals. Thirteen! That’s how many the U.S. women’s national team scored in its World Cup opener against Thailand. A Miami bar that promised to give away shots for every U.S. goal certainly didn’t expect that. It was the most goals ever scored by a team in World Cup play. Alex Morgan scored five all by herself, tying an American World Cup record set by Michelle Akers.
There were so many goals scored that Telemundo announcer Andrés Cantor spent two and a half minutes saying “gol.”
The New York Times didn’t even have space in the paper to give details on the carnage.
The Canadian TV crew was not as impressed, though.
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