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Pat Beverley: When I Guard Chris Paul, I Go Out for a Steak the Night Before. When I Guard Steph Curry, I Go to Bed at 8 p.m.

Also in Traina Thoughts: Barkley and Shaq worry for nothing, Michelle Tafoya gets ratio'd, Drew Brees makes a statement and more.

1. Chris Paul completely disappeared at the end of the Suns’ series against the Mavericks, was part of one of the worst losses in NBA history Sunday night and then, on Monday, got absolutely destroyed by Patrick Beverley all morning on ESPN.

Beverley appeared on Get Up and First Take and made his feelings for Paul more than clear.

“He can’t guard. He literally can’t guard,” Beverley told Stephen A. Smith. The Timberwolves guard then went on to compare Paul to an orange cone.

“Man, CP can’t guard nobody, man. Everybody in the NBA knows that. What do we call him? Cone. You know when you do cones? Like, in the summertime, you gotta cone. You make a move. What does the cone do?”

Get Up host Mike Greenberg then interjected, “Stay still.” Beverley emphatically responded, “EXACTLY!”

Later on First Take, Beverley explained how no team in the NBA is afraid of Phoenix.

Beverley’s best quote about Paul, however, had to do with his pregame approach before facing the point guard.

“Do guys in the NBA go to sleep early the night before playing the Phoenix Suns? Hell no. No. I’m going to Steak 44 over there in Phoenix, I’m gonna have me a nice little wine, probably sweat it out in the pregame shootaround and get ready for Chris Paul. Steph Curry? I’m going to bed at 8 o’clock. Mom, don’t call me. My girl, don’t call me. I’m locked in right now.”

Beverley started to get in his Chris Paul slander hours before appearing on ESPN, questioning this Jeremy Lin tweet.

I’m going to predict ESPN has Beverley back in the studio—often.

2. Right before his game against the Suns last night, Luka Dončić did an interview with the Inside the NBA crew, which didn’t sit well with Shaq and Charley Barkley. Dončić then had 35 points and 10 rebounds in leading Dallas to its series-clinching blowout win.

3. This is an all-time ratio for a sports tweet.

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4. If you worked Notre Dame football games last year and then you did studio work for Sunday Night Football and then you called an NFL playoff game, but then you tweet you "may" work for NBC, it means you're out. 

5. Here are all three outs recorded Sunday night by PITCHER Albert Pujols, who was called upon to close out the Cardinals’ win against the Giants.

6. The most recent episode of the SI Media Podcast features an interview with New York Post sports media reporter Andrew Marchand.

Does Marchand stand by his report that the deal is for 10 years and $375 million? Did Fox end up with Tom Brady because the network was mad at Troy Aikman? Why Brady going into broadcasting shouldn’t have surprised people. Who will work with Kevin Burkhardt on Fox's No. 1 team until Brady retires?

In addition to the big Brady story, we also discussed who could replace Kay Adams on GMFB, the Drew Brees saga, Formula One’s strong ratings, the call of the Kentucky Derby shocker, how the USFL is doing and much more.

Following the conversation with Marchand, Sal Licata from WFAN and SNY in New York joins me for our weekly “Traina Thoughts” segment. This week’s topics include the stupidity of baseball’s unwritten rules, the success of HBO’s Winning Time, the NFL’s Week 2 Monday night doubleheader and more.

You can listen to the podcast below or download it on AppleSpotify and Google.

7. RANDOM VIDEO OF THE DAY: It was on this date, May 16, in 1996, that Susan Ross died from licking envelopes.

Be sure to catch up on past editions of Traina Thoughts and check out the Sports Illustrated Media Podcast hosted by Jimmy Traina on AppleSpotify or Google. You can also follow Jimmy on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok.