Mavs 'A F****** Mess!' 12-Step Program to Dallas Fix: Donuts!
DALLAS - Admitting they have a problem is the first step. And with that ... Dallas Mavs Donuts, A 12-Step Program to fixing what one trusted voice is calling "a f****** mess!'' ... focusing for now in part on all the things that went wrong ...
DONUT 1: ADMIT IT! Listen, I'm a Jason Kidd guy. I've known him for a long time. And in addition to his almost unparalleled BBIQ, I've observed and believe in his growth as a person.
But ...
"We're trying to build a championship team and sometimes you gotta take a step back," Kidd said. "We trust (owner Mark) Cuban and (GM) Nico (Harrison) to put the pieces together to put us in a position to win a championship and so that's our process today."
That quote? That better be for the marketing-minded purpose of convincing MFFLs to loosen their grips on their pointy pitchforks and their fiery torches (and renewing their AAC season tickets). I believe deep inside Mavs HQ, Kidd and his cohorts recognize the myriad problems here.
But that comment attempts to paint a rosy picture of a franchise that 10 months ago was a Western Conference Finalist and now doesn't appear to know if a basketball is blown up or stuffed.
Smart MFFLs reaction to Kidd's poetry? They are not loosening their grips on their pointy pitchforks and their fiery torches.
DONUT 2: HOW TO ORGANICALLY TANK © Seriously, there is a way to do this without drawing the ire of an NBA opting to launch an "investigation.''
And one of the ways to do it is "Fight Club''-style: The first rule of Organic Tanking © is ... You don't talk about Organic Tanking ©.
But instead, the too-honest Jason Kidd just came out and said it on Friday before the backward-embarrassment home loss to the Bulls.
“We were fighting for our lives, and understanding this is a situation we’re in, but the organization has made the decision to change,” coach Kidd said before the game. “So, you know, we have to go by that and that’s something that happens.”
Of course it happens. But you don't say it's going to happen.
In the end, the Mavs are such a f****** mess that they almost didn't even know how to properly execute an Organic Tank ©. ... which is almost as humiliating as the tank itself.
DONUT 3: UNHAPPY LUKA A few weeks ago, Luka Doncic fessed up to being unhappy.
"I think you can see it with me on the court," Doncic said in March. "Sometimes I don't feel it's me. I'm just being out there. I used to have really fun, smiling on the court, but it's just been so frustrating for a lot of reasons, not just basketball."
Great. But ... what the hell does that mean?
Mavs apologists morphed Luka's revelation into meaning, "It's not about basketball.'' But that's not what he said.
"Not just basketball'' was his exact phrasing.
Family issue? Car problems? Slow internet at his pad? That's life.
"Not just basketball''? That's basketball. And the comment got shoved under the rug ... along with, maybe, whatever the actual problem is.
DONUT 4: KYRIE'S EXIT Not unlike tanking, there is a right and quiet and honorable way to do "Exit Interviews.'' And by God, that starts with showing up for them, for a couple of reasons.
First, it is owed to the fans. The Mavs provided very little reward to their loyal fan base this year. What was left to provide? Commentary. Revelations. Insight. Communication. Politeness.
Something.
Instead, Kyrie Irving - who gets paid $34 million to "represent the Mavs'' - packed up his locker and booked from the AAC. Which leads to ...
Second, participation in Exit Interviews is owed to one's teammates. Why? Because if Kyrie isn't available to address issues, Kyrie-related and otherwise, who is left to do it?
Dwight Powell? Theo Pinson?
Kyrie did all sorts of fine and honorable and cooperative things in his half-season here, an onion peeled best by our Grant Afseth. But skipping Exit Interviews - not because of what it does to the media but rather because of what it does to fans and teammates - is a form of selfishness.
DONUT 5: CUBAN'S FAULT? NAH Owner Mark Cuban, last week at the AAC full of weird mini-press conferences and phone-text revelations and bizarre denials and kooky finger-pointing, took a moment to accept the blame for the 2022-23 debacle.
Kinda.
"I don’t think it’s Kidd’s problem that we didn’t have an identity,'' Cuban said as part of the night's oddball scramble for media clarity. "The game changed in ways we didn’t expect it to change, so I blew it. It was on me, personally, because the game changed in terms of the take foul and the speed of the game."
On the surface, this sounds almost valiant. But let's examine it from another angle ...
The "take foul'' is why the Mavs plummeted from first to worst? The "take foul''? And "The Smartest Guy in the Room'' who was supposed to orchestrate an adjustment to this monumental sea change that marks the largest alteration in the sport since the elimination of the peach basket is ...
The owner?
I've known Mark Cuban since way before he bought the Mavs. I think a great deal of him on a personal and professional basis. But it's a weird sort of "humblebrag'' that "Tony Cubes'' is accepting blame in this area, because it also means he's trumpeting his knowhow in this area.
And this area should be the purview not of "The Smartest Guy in the Room'' but rather of "The Smartest Basketball Guy in the Room.''
And Cuban - whose passion is both his greatest strength and his greatest weakness - is asking too much of himself if he's asking that he be the Mavs' "Smartest Basketball Guy.''
DONUT 6: CUBAN'S FAULT? YEAH Now, on the other hand ...
Cubes is directly involved in roster construction (more below) and recruitment and major personnel decisions. And the Mavs look silly trying to argue that they did anything but botch the Jalen Brunson non-signing.
Dallas had multiple chances to secure the services of Brunson and undervalued him. That is an indisputable fact.
Nobody showed me any "private texts'' to prove otherwise, and they needn't bother.
Because there are no "private texts'' that prove otherwise.
DONUT 7: LUKA TRADE GOSSIP This weekend saw an uncomfortable exchange between Doncic and reporter Tim MacMahon, who'd stated that the Mavs now "fear'' the star might eventually request a trade.
"I saw the report. I don't know who, somebody said that I was going to request a trade," Doncic said in response to the ESPN scoop. "It was funny because I didn't know that was true. I didn't say it. ...”
I'm not sure why MacMahon responded to Doncic's denial by listing "Anthony Davis, James Harden and Kevin Durant'' as superstars who eventually asked out of their situations; that's not the point.
MacMahon reported that the Mavs "fear'' Luka eventually asking out.
That's it. It's either true (which it is) or it's not. Period. No explanation needed.
As part of the same media conversation, Luka said, "I'm happy here. There's nothing to worry.''
Mavs management could in theory now take a deep relaxing exhale ... Except that it was just four Donuts ago when Doncic proclaimed himself "Not-just-basketball'' unhappy.
So which is it?
My fact-based opinion: The Mavs (and the rest of us) were so spoiled by Dirk Nowitzki's loyalty that we mistakenly assume it’s the norm. MacMahon's story is accurate and so is this angle: For all we know Luka, in his heart of hearts, is more like "Anthony Davis, James Harden and Kevin Durant'' than he is like Dirk.
DONUT 8: WHAT'S KYRIE WORTH? Irving is eligible for a five-year, $272.92 million max contract if he re-signs with the Mavericks (and just four years and $201.67 million elsewhere). The purpose of the deadline trade was the long-term "get''; this wasn't intended to be a couple-of-months rental.
So Kyrie's getting the max to stay ... right?
"I think we have a good shot (at re-signing Irving)," Cuban said recently. "I want him to stay."
Sure. So, he gets the max, right?
Said Cuban (to the media): "I'm not going to negotiate with you."
Yes, yes, I know, Mark, but ... Kyrie's getting the max, right? Otherwise, what was the point of the trade?
"I don't know,'' Cuban said more recently. "I guess there's always too high a price, depending, but now with the new CBA, it's a different world.''
Wait ... What? What "different world''? What "too high a price''? What "depending''? This is the cost of hiring a superstar. It's $272.92 million. It's not "different'' and it's not "new.''
I'll tell you what it is: It sounds like the same stuff Cuban was doing a year ago when it appeared the Mavs were reluctant to pay future Knicks star Jalen Brunson what he was actually worth.
And we know how that worked out.
DONUT 9: GUYS’ DADS And speaking of Brunson: How is it that Brunson's dad, Rick, is now cited by the Mavs as the person who blew the deal to keep Jalen in Dallas?
My family is involved in my business. Mark's family has been involved in his. Why wouldn't 25-year-old Jalen Brunson, facing the largest decision of his life, involve his own father, who has played and coached in professional basketball for almost 30 years?
As an added twist: The gossip that oozed out of the Mavs locker room a couple of weeks about dissension may have been overblown. But then came Tim Hardaway Sr. doing an on-the-record interview in which he bashed Doncic and Irving for their failings as locker-room leaders.
So ...
a) Where do we think Tim Hardaway Sr. obtained his information that painted the two Mavs stars in an unfortunate light?
b) Why hasn't the Mavs front office crushed the Hardaway family for "getting involved'' the way the Mavs front office crushed the Brunson family?
DONUT 10: FIRE KIDD? "A lot of people won't be back next season," Kidd said this weekend. "There will be a lot of new faces."
Kidd, however, has gotten the "he's-still-our-guy" endorsement from Cuban and Nico. I get that, and here's why: He's the same coach who guided Dallas to the WCF just a year ago; the skill to do that hasn't eroded.
I frankly wish he'd find a cure for his tone-deafness; Kidd's insistence on referring derisively to "Mavs Twitter'' is both a slap at his fans and an acknowledgment of a personal sensitivity. (The sharpest coaches in sports are trying to get their players to ignore Twitter, not holding press conferences to response to tweets.)
In this social-media age, a soundbite can become an epitaph; Kidd should never, ever, ever again dismiss the importance of a loss by saying, "No one is dying!''
I mean, you wanna etch something on a guy's gravestone? "No one is dying!'' might be almost as iconic/ironic as "I told them I was sick!''
DONUT 11: ROSTER CONSTRUCTION AND MORE MOVES The biggest basketball brains here at DallasBasketball.com, like Dalton Trigg and Grant Afseth, said this before and after the Kyrie trade: Even if we accept that Luka and Irving "fit'' (as the Mavs insist they do), the "roster construction'' is poor. ... starting with what a critic might suggest is an almost-stubborn unwillingness to play defense.
Now, combine with that ... Luka's out-of-control on-court emotions, Irving's pride in a "You-Don't-Understand-Me'' vibe, Christian Wood's march-to-a-different-beat persona ... and should we toss in Tim Hardaway Jr.'s Sessions with Daddy? ...
And this group was a handful.
Exit Interviews on the same day of a game? I've been covering the Mavs for 33 years; I believe that's a first.
We can talk about trading for LeBron James and we can dig into the availability of Trae Young or any other wild-ass idea, and we should talk about it, as transaction brainstorming is part of the fun of the NBA.
But the Mavs must be mindful of how the roster works together and how the players mesh with one another on the court and off. Brunson was a glue guy who helped that. Dirk, of course, was the king of subtle psychological suggestion of fun and sacrifice, because if the best player and hardest worker is having fun and sacrificing, the other follow suit.
Unfortunately, Dirk ain't walkin' through that locker-room door. Or, if he is, he's sporting a tiny potbelly while limping badly.
DONUT 12: THE FINAL WORD Instead of keeping their hopes alive for the final play-in spot in the Western Conference heading into the final game of the season, Mavs management opted to shut it down. Luka hated the plan, and started the game any way in part because it was "Slovenia Night'' and many of his countrymen had traveled halfway across the globe to witness his brilliance.
And again, the Mavs couldn't even do Organic Tanking © properly, as their best player participated for marketing reasons. (Next time, guys? Offer to have Luka take 'em all to Six Flags.)
But ...
There remains a chance Dallas could fall down to 11th on lottery night and therefore convey the pick to the New York Knicks. ... and then?
No Victor. No pick at all. No promise to Irving. No promise of superstars begging to come here. No promise of happiness from Luka. No promise of another MVP-caliber effort from Doncic resulting in him winning that trophy because as 2022-23 evidences, not even Jordan-esque averages of 32 points, eight rebounds and eight assists get you votes if your team reeks.
And - back to Donut 1, full-circle, with that First Step to fixing an illness being to admit the illness - the Dallas Mavs f****** reek.
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