Crisco didn’t work, so...
Philadelphia police thought they came up with a genius plan to keep Eagles-related celebrations civil after the NFC championship game: coat the street poles downtown in a liberal layer of Crisco. But after the police commissioner conceded on Tuesday that the vegetable shortening scheme was a bust, the cops have come up with another idea.
The police are planning to use gear oil—the type a mechanic uses to keep your transmission running smoothly—to thwart any would-be pole climbers after the Super Bowl on Sunday, according to Fox 29 in Philadelphia.
While fans were able to scale the Crisco-coated poles with relative ease, gear oil should provide a stiffer challenge. The news station spoke to a mechanic who works with gear oil and the folks at a laundromat and came away with the conclusion that at the very least your clothes would be ruined.
Eagles fans have been waiting since 1960 to celebrate a championship. A greasy shirt might be a reasonable price to pay