'Short People Got No Reason!' (Except for Cowboys Rookie Deuce Vaughn)
SAN ANTONIO - I cannot stand small people ... Wait, let me finish ... small people in the NFL.
I want to be careful to not be characterized as discriminating, having learned a lesson from the "controversial'' 1970's Randy Newman song "Short People.''
"Short people got ... no reason to live!''? The song was actually an attack against bias and prejudice. But that theme got lost in the lyrics - and Newman found some radio stations unwilling to play and hit and he even got death threats.
So believe me, as a 5-9 man myself, there is a place for "us.'' But is in on a professional football field?
Yeah, you'd think that I would be a champion of the diminutive. Nope. I like big, huge guys doing big, huge things in big, huge football games.
That brings me to Deuce Vaughn, the rookie running back who literally (on TV) looks like a middle-school kid on a "Bring Your Son to Work Day'' standing on the Cowboys sideline. (It's worth noting that in person, his physique is impressive, as he packs 179 pounds into his small frame.)
Despite my deep sighs and my rolling eyes, I have to admit the 5-5 jitterbug looked good - like, "second-string running back behind Tony Pollard'' good.
When the Cowboys drafted him, I was convinced, despite what they said at the time, that he was a feel-good pick because his Dad works in the Cowboys scouting department. I already didn't like the Kansas State kid because I had to endure him torching my beloved TCU Horned Frogs in the Big 12 Championship last year.
How can somebody that tiny be so good on this level? Apparently he can hang - and he knows it, saying, "I belong. I feel like that's the biggest thing for me coming in, just proving the people that believe in me right.''
If coach Mike McCarthy continues to get his backs involved in the passing game inside this new "Texas Coast Offense,'' Vaughn figures to not only make the team but to also be a contributor. I'd even go so far to wonder whether KaVontae Turpin's job is in jeopardy if Vaughn can show he's a threat in the return game.
I've wondered for two years when McCarthy was going to dump former offensive coordinator Kellen Moore and just call the plays himself. Now that it's finally happened, with Deuce looking like he fits neatly inside McCarthy's playbook, I may be stuck watching the little man on Sundays.
Ah, but if he plays as he did in the pre-season opener I'm going to have to get over my microphobia and learn to love at least one member of the "short people'' gang.
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