Nostralupagus' 2019 NFL Draft Predictions

We looked all over the countryside. From the tops of the highest peaks to the dirtiest of valleys, and finally, we found him curled up in the fetal position

We looked all over the countryside. From the tops of the highest peaks to the dirtiest of valleys, and finally, we found him curled up in the fetal position covered in fecal matter and dirt in a rusty old dumpster behind the Landing. At first, he was unresponsive but the cracking of cold can of Spotted Cow awoke this legendary prognosticator. After a meal of Junior Mints, Slim Jim's, Original Pringles, and more Spotted Cow he agreed to whip out his crystal balls and give us predictions for the 2019 NFL Draft. Here are his ramblings as recorded from my phone.

1. OHHH AHHH YESSS I FEEL ITTTT IT BURNNSSS.....THE REDSKINS WILL TRADE TO PICK 3 AND GRAB THEIR QB OF THE FUTUREEEEEEEERREEEE OOOHMM
2. THE MINNESOTA VIKINGS WILL PICK THE SAME NUMBER OF TIMES IN ROUND 1 AS THE NUMBER OF MEN I'VE BEDDDEDDDDDD.....WHICH.....iSSSSSS AHAHHHHH TWOOOOOOO!!!
3. THISSSS ONNNNEEE ISSS SADDDDD BUTTTT IIII MUSSTT TRUST MY CRYSTAL BALLLLLLSSSS!!! MONTEZ SWEAT WILL NOT HEAR HIS NAME CALLED ON THURSDAY NIGHTTTTTT!!!!!!!
4. OHHHH AHHHH MMMMMM YESSSS SLAPPP ITTT!!!!!! THERE WILL BE ONLY ONNNNEEEE CORNER SELECTED ON THE FIRSSSST NIGHTTTTT..AND I"M NOTTTTT BEEEEEINGGGG GREEEEDDDDYYY!!!
5. OHH YESSS FOR THHHEE FIRRSSTTT TIME SINCCEEEE THE MIDDLE AGGGESSS MMMM YEESSS TWO IOWA TIGHT ENDS WILL BE OFFF THE BBBBOAARRD BEFORE THE 12 PICK OF THEEEEEE NIGGGGHTTT!!
6. OHH HEEE HEE HEE MY CRYSTAL BALLS ARE TINGLING....JOSH JACOBS WILL BE A RAIDER BY THE END OF THURSSDAYYY NIGHT......
7. OHH MYYYY SSSSLLLUUURRRRPPPPP AHHHH MMMM A TEAM WILL FAIL TO GET THERE MMMMPPPPICCKKK IN ONNNN TIMMMMMEEEE................
8. OHHH MY BALL IS COVERED IN HAIR LET ME BLOW ON IT....AHHH WHOOOOO.MMMMM TWO DEVINS WILL BE DRAFFFTEDDD IN THE TOPPPPP TENNNNNNNNN!!!!!
9. MMM AHH OHHH D....K.....METTTTCALFFFFFFFFF MEEEE MAY BE ABSSSSSOLUTTTTEELLLYYY SHREDDED...BUTTT HEEEE WON'TTTTT BEEEE THE FFFFIRSSSST WIDE REEEECEIIVVVER DRAFFFFTEDD!
10. YESS ONNNNEEE MORREEE BEFFFORE MY BALLSS SHRIVEL AND FIZZLE OUTTTTTTT...AN OFFENSIVE LINEMAN NOOOO ONEEE EXPECTS WILLL BE DRAFFFTEDDD IN THE TOPPP TEN!!!