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Manchester United legend Eric Cantona gave a speech after being given the UEFA President’s Award at Thursday's Champions League draw. That’s the only thing I can say for certain. It was a speech. A speech about what, exactly? We may never know. 

“What’s going on through your mind right now?” the host asked Cantona. And then the Frenchman took us on a very strange trip.

“As flies to wanton boys, we are for the gods,” Cantona began, quoting from Shakespeare’s King Lear. “They kill us for their sport. Soon the science will not only be able to slow down the aging of the cells. Soon the science will fix cells to the state. And so we become eternal. Only accidents, crimes, wars will still kill us. But unfortunately, crimes and wars will multiply. I love football. Thank you.”

If this is Cantona’s pitch for a science-fiction movie about immortal soccer players in a crime-ridden, war-torn dystopia, sign me up.