Shield your eyes
FCS Davidison beat Division-III Guilford College 91–61 last night in a game that broke several FCS records. The box score is unlike anything I’ve ever seen before.
But the broken records are just the beginning of the insanity. Here are a few things that stood out to me:
• Davidson is a triple-option team, so the Wildcats only passed the ball eight times the entire game—completing all eight attempts—and still scored 91 points.
• Davidson’s longest scoring drive was six plays. It took 3:03.
• Davidson didn’t run a single play inside the red zone.
• Davidson’s 685 rushing yards came on just 54 attempts. That’s an average of 12.7 yards per carry.
• Davidson averaged 15.5 yards per play.
• Davidson went for it on fourth down at the beginning of the fourth quarter while leading 71–39.
• Davidson punted on its first possession and then scored touchdowns on 10 of its next 11 possessions (with a lost fumble mixed in) before punting for the last time late in the third quarter.
Give credit to Guilford too, though. The Quakers ran 100 plays, racking up 41 first downs and 698 yards of total offense.
Speaking of wild stats
A.J. Green fantasy owners are very happy this morning after he scored three touchdowns—all in the first 17 minutes of the game—in last night’s Bengals win over the Ravens.
Baltimore made an honest comeback attempt, but Cincinnati held off the surge and now it looks like anyone can win the AFC North.
Maybe not the smartest purchase
You know who Chris McCullough is, right? The former first-round pick of the Nets who has played 59 games over three seasons with Brooklyn and the Wizards?
He may not have an NBA contract right now but he does have a diamond-encrusted chain that looks like a can of iced tea and cost $100,000. That’s 2.6% of his pre-tax NBA earnings. He better find a good job in Europe.
Bits & Pieces
Colgate canceled its game at Furman due to the Hurricane, so it’s donating its hotel rooms and scheduled team meals to evacuees. ... New research suggests that beer was ancient humans’ motivation for domesticating grains. ... A group of beluga whales adopted a lost narwhal. ... Johnny Manziel is upset with his lack of playing time in Canada. ... A man flying from Germany to Russia was caught with 20 snakes in his carry-on bags.
Baseball will miss David Wright
This is one of the most satisfying feelings there is for a golfer
Traveling in style
Anthony Rizzo refused to bring any clothes but his uniform for the Cubs brief trip to Washington.
Steve Smith will never stop talking trash
Neil deGrasse Tyson explains the dangers of getting high in space
Nuthin’ but a G thang
The entire Conan O’Brien NBC archive will be available free on YouTube
Putting Elon Musk’s flamethrower to shame
The reason why we say “OK”
A good song
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