Not one. Not two. Three sex toys on the field in Buffalo. 

By Dan Gartland
October 30, 2018

A tradition unlike any other

These are the five words we wait to hear at every Bills-Patriots game in Buffalo:

It started in 2016 when a Bills fan threw the inaugural rubber phallus onto the field right in the middle of a play. After a repeat performance last season, it became pretty clear that this was now a tradition when the Patriots came to town. If the Bills can’t beat the Pats in Buffalo (they’ve only done it in 2003 and 2011), the fans might as well have some fun. 

Monday night’s game featured (at least) three dildos on the field, plus how ever many were thrown and disposed of before they could be captured on film. 

As long as it’s done safely, I have no problem with this trend continuing. The first toss in 2016 was literally right into the middle of a play. A player could have easily stepped on it and twisted an ankle. But if you’re going to toss your marital aid during a break in the action, I say go for it—you already went through the trouble of getting it into the stadium.

The Warriors could easily score 200 points in a game if they wanted

Klay Thompson set a new NBA record last night by making 14 three-point shots as the Warriors cruised past the Bulls. Golden State held a 92–50 advantage at halftime, which seems like it should be a record but actually isn’t. 

The final score was 149–124, after the Warriors pulled their starters with under five minutes to play in the third quarter. 

The Best From SI

Wasting no time, Ben Reiter’s annual top 50 MLB free agents list is here. ... Conor Orr examines the possible candidates to be the next coach inevitably fired by the Browns. ... Rohan Nadkarni’s piece from yesterday morning about the Warriors having fun again was well-timed. ... The first College Football Playoff rankings come out tonight. Ross Dellenger looks at the process behind them

Around the Sports World

The Bills actually ran a play from Tecmo Bowl against the Patriots. (It didn’t work.) ... After giving the starting job back to Jameis Winston following his suspension, the Bucs are benching him in favor of Ryan Fitzpatrick. ... Baker Mayfield and Hue Jackson reportedly weren’t the best of friends. ... The college football conference championship games could look ridiculous.

Tom Brady will not have a second career as a fullback

I’m dying at this caption. “Throwing blocks.”

No arguing with that

This is still a stupid gimmick, but at least it’s less obtrusive now

Fans in the expensive seats along the sideline have been livid with ESPN for blocking their view with Booger McFarland’s big rolling chair. Well, it’s been modified now to hopefully alleviate some of those concerns. I just still don’t get why he can’t be in the booth. 

God bless J.R. for always keeping things light

Adam Schefter is really not great at jokes

Come on, Adam. The Browns and los blancos is such a better joke. 

This is peak Mike Francesa

I hope to one day achieve the kind of professional security where I can simultaneously be this astonishingly wrong about something and so aggressively arrogant about it. Not only was Matt Vasgersian not calling the Rams-Packers game, he hasn’t called football in 10 years. 

Not Sports

American soldiers participating in a training exercise nearly drank all the alcohol in Iceland’s capital. ... A Burger King in Philadelphia is refusing to sell the chain’s new Philly cheesesteak burger

This is totally the dog owner’s fault for leaving cardboard on the stove, right?

The price of Bitcoin, represented in soundwaves

350-year old ice cream recipe

A good song

Email dan.gartland@simail.com with any feedback or follow me on Twitter for approximately one half-decent baseball joke per week. Bookmark this page to see previous editions of Hot Clicks and find the newest edition every day. By popular request I’ve made a Spotify playlist of the music featured here. Visit our Extra Mustard page throughout each day for more offbeat sports stories.

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HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
OUT
HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
IN
Eagle (-2)
Birdie (-1)
Bogey (+1)
Double Bogey (+2)