Really, Tom? Marky Mark?

By Dan Gartland
November 21, 2018

Really, Tom? Marky Mark?

Getty Images

Tom Brady was asked during his weekly appearance on Westwood One radio who he thinks should play him in the inevitable movie about his life. His response? Mark Wahlberg.

“I’m going with Mark Wahlberg,” Brady said. “A Boston legend, (from) Dorchester, one of the just ‘grind it out’ kind of guys.”

That honestly might be the worst choice imaginable. Mark Wahlberg is 5'8". What kind of forced perspective magic would the director have to use to make him look like a 6'4" NFL quarterback? Wahlberg doesn’t even look like Brady facially. He doesn’t have Brady’s most disctinctive feature, the pronounced chin. If I were casting the Brady movie, the role would absolutely go to Henry Cavill. 

Brendon Thorne/Getty Images

Even if Brady wants a Boston guy to play him, Wahlberg is still a terrible pick. Hasn’t he heard of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon?

Don’t write news stories about jokes

The college football forum is one of the biggest communities on Reddit and its moderators also operate a popular Twitter account. During this week’s Monday Night Football game, the account made a joke about the shootout resembling a Big 12 game. You know who didn’t recognize it as a joke? The sports editor of the Cincinnati Enquirer

Jason Hoffman posted a short blog on the Enquirer’s website Tuesday evening with the headline: “Will the Big 12 take another look at expansion? Would UC be a candidate again?”

“Now, the Reddit College Football Twitter account is putting out the rumor that the conference is going to announce another round of expansion talks,” the post read. “If the Big 12 does decide to expand, The Enquirer/Cincinnati.com will have complete coverage every step of the way.”

(It’s been deleted from Cincinnati.com but you can see a cached version here.)

The best of SI

Yes, it’s come to the point that our legal analyst is examining the Markelle Fultz situation. ... Adrian Beltre made baseball fun, and it won’t be the same without him. ... These are the names that everyone will be talking about once the NFL coaching carousel starts moving.

Who wants free stuff?

We’re kicking off the holiday season by giving away some items that will make you the talk of any NFL party (or maybe especially a non-NFL party). Shinesty is a company makes all sorts of eye-popping outlandish clothing, including several styles specifically geared toward NFL fans. They also just launched a line of products featuring Broncos kicker Brandon McManus

Two of the most popular items are the NFL team logo blazers and overalls, and we’re giving them away to three readers.

Here’s what you need to do to win: Go back to Tuesday’s Hot Clicks and find the name of the baseball team that’s leaving Colorado Springs. It’s in the first sentence, so it should be easy. Send me an email under the subject line “NFL giveaway” with the correct answer. (You must use that subject line in order for your entry to count.) The 10th, 20th and 30th people who meet those requirements will win. (You’ll get to choose whether you want the blazer or the overalls.) Update: Congrats to Will, Russell and Brian for winning. 

Around the sports world

A California volleyball team bought new uniforms for its opponents after they lost everything in the wildfires. ... Mike Gundy says to prevent players faking injuries to slow the pace down, they should have to sit out until the end of a possession. ... This story includes some great perspective from Larry Nance Jr. about playing for the newly hapless Cavs.

Thankfully Steph Curry is as accurate with a tattoo gun as he is from three

This is what a racecar driver’s steering wheel looks like

Big Ben’s son has a new favorite running back

Welcome back to the NHL, Ken Hitchcock

The Oilers fired Todd McLellan and replaced him with Ken Hitchcock, who had retired after last season. Hitchcock is a defensive-minded coach, so of course Edmonton surrendered a goal less than a minute into his tenure. 

Not sports

There’s another E coli outbreak associated with romaine lettuce. ... Netflix reportedly considered cancelling Glow after just one season. ... An American man was killed after trying to contact one of the world’s most isolated tribes.

A two-year-old’s solution to the classic philosophy problem

Crazy scenes at the Pusha T concert in Toronto

In case you didn’t know, Pusha T and Drake have beef. So when some jamokes in the crowd threw beer on Pusha in the middle of the show, he accused Drake of paying them to do it. (Is it crazy to think Pusha actually paid them to spice up the show?)

Please, officer, I can explain

Woke up this morning to 6 cops, a fire truck, and an ambulance at my door because a passing car was concerned about the one Halloween decoration I neglected to take down from r/pics

A good song

Email dan.gartland@simail.com with any feedback or follow me on Twitter for approximately one half-decent baseball joke per week. Bookmark this page to see previous editions of Hot Clicks and find the newest edition every day. By popular request I’ve made a Spotify playlist of the music featured here. Visit our Extra Mustard page throughout each day for more offbeat sports stories.

You May Like

HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
OUT
HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
IN
Eagle (-2)
Birdie (-1)
Bogey (+1)
Double Bogey (+2)