This is the sound of pure despair
Yankees infielder Gleyber Torres is brutalizing the Orioles this year. Of his 12 home runs, 10 have come against Baltimore. He also has four multi-homer games, all against the Orioles.
Orioles pitchers (who are already on pace to shatter the MLB record for most home runs allowed) are surely sick of seeing Torres, and so is MASN announcer Gary Thorne. When Torres hit his first of two dingers on Monday, Thorne was heated: “Get him out of here!”
But when Torres hit another two bombs on Wednesday, Thorne was too worn down to muster any outrage. He was a defeated man and could only sarcastically deliver his signature “goodbye, home run” call.
The bad news for Thorne is that the Yankees and Orioles play this afternoon, so there’s still chance for Torres to do more damage before leaving town. The good news is that these teams don’t meet again until August 5, so Thorne will get to see other hitters abuse the Baltimore staff.
Just stop it, NFL
Putting the draft in prime time was an inevitable but acceptable development for the NFL. But there’s absolutely no reason why the damn scouting combine has to take place during prime time. It’s already absurd that it’s televised live. The NFL really thinks people will tune in at 8 p.m. to watch guys do the bench press and three-cone drill?
The best of SI
The NFL is ready to embrace sports gambling, but its fans in the Bible Belt aren’t just yet. ... Did you realize Cody Bellinger is still batting over .400? ... What recourse do the Mets have after Yoenis Cespedes injured himself in an accident at his ranch? ... Knicks president Steve Mills says Kristaps Porzingis threatened to return to Europe if he didn’t get traded.
Around the sports world
Robinson Cano, who was benched for not hustling, hustled and hurt himself. ... Some maniac is causing havoc in New York by pulling subway emergency brakes during rush hour. ... One Blues fan could win $100,000 from a $400 bet if St. Louis wins the Stanley Cup. ... Ghanaian soccer player Asamoah Gyan decided not to retire after a phone call with the country’s president. ... Chris Long joins the long list of current and former NFL players advocating for the league to allow marijuana use.
Long had the perfect response to his weed admission
It’s as easy as 1-2-3
Rich Hill: not an analytics guy (NSFW)
CC’s cheat sheet got stuck to his head...
Kevin Durant is starting another social media beef
Knicks owner James Dolan’s band is so damn corny
A tourist staying at an Airbnb in Miami discovered an alligator in the house’s pool, floating on an inflatable alligator. ... Scientists in Canada discovered fossils of a fungus over one billion years old, twice as old as any previously discovered fungus. ... A New York man was busted for driving with a hilariously fake safety inspection sticker on his car.
You’re not smarter than Alex, James
New York is using goats to clear poison ivy and it’s like like New Yorkers have never seen animals before
Visiting one of Yelp’s worst tanning salons
A good song
Email firstname.lastname@example.org with any feedback or follow me on Twitter for approximately one half-decent baseball joke per week. Bookmark this page to see previous editions of Hot Clicks and find the newest edition every day. By popular request I’ve made a Spotify playlist of the music featured here. Visit our Extra Mustard page throughout each day for more offbeat sports stories.